I recently broke up with my bf of 5 years and while it was pretty mutual, I'm struggling with the realities of single life and being alone a lot more than I thought I would. Not only am I having a hard time with my finances, I'm just at probably the lowest emotional point of my entire life. Nowhere to go but up, but wow is it a hard slog.
Near the end of our relationship, there was very little love between my ex and I, and unfortunately my stress ended up pushing away my best friend of 20 years, who basically just told me to "get help" and ghosted me instead of offering me any support after my breakup. I do struggle a lot with mental health issues but I've gotten lots of help for them--it's just none of it has been effective, and the struggle continues lol pushing away everyone I love. I know that I am worth a lot more than how men or crappy friends have treated me and yet, it's very tough having no one I can truly talk to when I'm at my rock bottom.
I had a psychiatrist appointment today and was diagnosed with bipolar, though she didn't mention a type. I've been diagnosed with it before, but my one of my more recent psychs said it was a wrong diagnosis and that I just have PTSD, so I'm a bit tired of being on the diagnosis carousel lol. I was prescribed meds I've taken in the past, but it feels like almost nothing gets through the constant anxiety that is just always beating me up. I don't miss my ex or want him back, but it's hard not to feel like a severely broken human when I lose both him and my best friend on the same day.
I just want to feel better, and I know the first step is becoming comfortable with relying on myself and only myself. Any advice, support, or kind words you could spare would mean a lot to me.