Hello all,
It is Christmas time and my mom is a raging narcissist, so life is great right now.
My parents are hosting a bunch of my younger cousins (all male, <13 years old). I am the oldest cousin (female, which I think is an important detail for later).
Long story short, I was waiting in my mom's bedroom (because the bathroom was occupied by my brother) while she was sitting on the bed. My little cousin comes in and asks, "who is in the bathroom?". I say, "oh, Jason (brother) is in the bathroom." The kid is completely fine and goes "ok" and walks out.
My mom- "omg. Your voice is so rough with him."
Me- wut
Her- "like your tone is so harsh/mean. He's just a kid."
Me-....there's nothing wrong with my voice and he didn't interpret it that way. You're projecting a situation that doesn't exist.
Her- continues explaining why my tone was "incorrect" somehow
I ended up calling her out by saying, "I hate when you do that. You put things in peoples heads that aren't even real and try to make them self-conscious about things that aren't even issues. I'm not going to argue about a problem that doesn't exist."
My brother had left at this point, so I finally went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and left her saying some (sexist) nonsense about ToNe in the background.
I even went to my younger cousin just to double check and just like my intuition said, he didn't even notice anything and wanted me to watch funny YouTube shorts with him. I came back to tell her that he didn't even notice anything and told her that she needs to stop projecting her self-consciousness onto other people.
Then right as I said GN and walked out she was like, "oh my back is hurting, etc etc etc"
Me- ok, GN closes door
I've spent years working on not being anxious over stupid shit that doesn't matter outside of the narcissists made-up fantasy land, and I hate when they try to put worries into your head that aren't even legit. Such a waste of energy. It's exhausting to be demonized for simply existing.
At this point, I will own being the demon child, because at least the demon child gets to be free.
Can anyone relate? Narcissistic parents set you up for pickme thoughts and hyper-attentiveness that takes YEARS to undo. They can rot.
I have one too. Going no contact is the absolute best. You don't realize how these shitty little comments undermine you until you're away. They don't respect boundaries and it's too much work with no reward to have people like this in your life. The sooner you can break free, the better. Stay sane this holiday