Even HVW can be pickmeisha’s

Agree with the others - your earning potential has nothing to do with your pickme potential. I had a friend who made a lot more money than I did - and she scared the shit out of me in terms of how she allowed herself to be treated by men. She was 7 years older than me and I had no other female influence, so I was worried that this is what 40 looks like. The biggest mistake she made was buying a guy she was dating a car. This guy was an Uber driver who had no other earning potential other than leeching off his woman. She put the down payment on his car, and cosigned the loan with this guy under the assumption that he'd pay each month. He ended up giving her $200 total, and continued to drive it for months without paying. Meanwhile he was racking up parking tickets left and right that she was forced to pay for them. He also got in a couple accidents and screwed up the body of the car, which made it hard for her to sell later on when she finally got up the balls to take it back from him.

In the years since I have met amazing women in their 40s who are perfectly happy, who are also in loving relationships with respectful men. I have since started distancing myself from my old friend.

HVW is NOT about how much money you make or how many PhDs you have. Understand the concept of HVW and you will understand why HVW by design WILL NOT be a pickme.

Please don't use your actual photo in your pfp

HVW and pickmeisha don't go together imo. Anyway; I'm sorry you feel so out of place at your work. Must be hard and frustrating to hear that shit every now and then or worse every day. I have a somewhat similar situation. I work with almost only women too and they're all married with children. When I hear conversations about their marriage it's just unbelievable, when they have a evening shift they need to cook before going to work so their husband and children can eat and this is only one of many examples, 2 from what I know are in toxic relationships (substance abuse, emotional abuse) but really I've given up to give these women any advice or free therapy seasons as they are 45+ something, I'm mid 20s glad and thankful that I woke up from pickme-dreamland and I won't let them trauma dump shit on me everytime because they always come back with the same shit; 'He's changed' 'I just have to put up with it' 'It cant get any worse so its okay for now' like wtf, I'm not spending my energy anymore on that. They're all in marriages with man-childs and it seems or well I just know that they need to do ALL the emotional and physical labor at home. It's very demotivating for me to even consider marry a man, let alone have children with a man and I feel very sorry for them but some women just don't want to wake up to the harsh truth I guess.

A SHED?! I’m sorry, but… A FUCKING SHED?! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 Wow… honestly, just because a woman is educated and has a career doesn’t mean she’s high value. Just like being wealthy and attractive doesn’t make a man high-value. These women sound low value to me. I’m not saying they’re bad people, but you have to purge yourself of the pick-me mindset before you can be high-value (just like a man can be responsible and generous, but if he defends shitty men, then he’s not high-value). I’m sorry that you have to work with women like this. Having high standards can feel isolating sometimes. If i were you, i wouldn’t discuss my dating life with these women. And if they insist on telling you about theirs, just look perplexed and say “oh…” They sound like the kind to shame you for having higher standards, and try to sabotage you out of jealousy when you have something good. I know from experience working with women like this.

It has always been this way. Women whose consciousness has been raised end up feeling like aliens among their sisters who are so deeply engrossed with their partners and their offspring they have lost all perspective.

Activist movements such as gay rights, anti-racism etc. have more time to resonate with the collective consciousness, because the activists don't go home every night and spend 8 hours in bed with the enemy.

Pop culture loves to make fun of the Second Wave's consciousness raising groups -- especially the Betty Dodson workshops, when women sat around in circles, checking out their vaginas in the mirror and exchanging tips on how to masturbate.

And really how can you not laugh? The automaton like servility of women groomed to be support nuclear families is as funny as it is tragic.

But we need consciousness raising groups even more now than we did back then.

Why some settle and why some do not settle ? Simple answer : self esteem. Those with high self esteem, have high regard themselves, and they do not entertain shit that doesn’t align with the identity of high self esteem. Those with low self esteem, do not see themselves as valuable enough to want better, you can have confidence in regards to being successful at your career, etc. but confidence and self esteem are two different things. It’s easy to become confident IN something, such as your educational status because you worked hard for your degree, or your career status because you worked your way up to the top. But how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself will ultimately determine the kind of man or people you allow into your life. So while they might be successful, it is very possible that they have low self esteem due to limiting beliefs that they are not aware of. We all have areas that we are not so strong in, and others that we are very powerful in. They just might not be all that there in the self love department. But I wouldn’t bother saying anything, depending on how long their situations have been going on, they’ll either learn the harder way or they’ll continue on with this way of being

Being single for longer period of time will really open your eyes. Women who have been in a LTR since they were teens or who jump from one relationship to another don't understand this because they had no time to think for themselves.

An important aspect of being a high value woman (more than financial success) is having standards/boundaries and knowing your worth. It sounds to me like these women have more work to do on the level up journey. As the others said, it's not their fault because society loves to keep down women's self esteem. It's something we all have to unlearn.

Somewhat relevant, this study on gendered housework at different income dynamics was recently posted on fourthwave: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/09500170211069780

Successful, put-together women are not free from the patriarchy.

Just like a man cannot automatically be a HVM based on his career and salary, neither can a woman automatically be a HVW based on her career and salary. A man can't be an abuser and a HVM, no matter what he earns. A woman can't be a pickme and a HVW, no matter how together the rest of her life is.

Unfortunately, it's the socialization we all got. Society tells women if they can just be a little prettier, work a little harder, be a little better, a shitty guy will somehow magically transform and finally start treating them well. It keeps women running for that carrot just out of reach. Some women finally wake up and realize how dumb that actually sounds and stop running, and some don't. Until they do, they will keep getting run ragged by LVM, and continue wondering why their lives aren't like society said they would be.

And unfortunately, they have to come to that conclusion on their own, which you know already. All you can really do is lead by example and maybe drop a few breadcrumbs.

If I’m being fully transparent, really good bedroom chemistry plus a low drama person kept me with a lvm too long. Hormones, lol.