It probably should longer and more elaborate post but recently I came to conclusion that my mother was giant pick me. As such, me and my sister, we were threaths to her.
The things she did to us were despicable:
called us stupid and on every step predicted we are going to be major failures in life (not true, I am an engineering manager, my sister despite difficulties in school - very successful sales engineer)
calling us fat and ugly - despite this she never took any of us to a dietician or tried too cook more healthy
pushed us into crash diets, thanks to which I developed ED, my sister severe thyroid disorder
There is more but I will skip it. Men neg women in order to obtain women out of their league. But why women do that? Especially to their own daughters? To keep them from obtaining high quality men and living beter life !!
That's why you need to remove all pickmes from your life. Pickmirella will neg you just as much as men. Notice that high quality men and women are always uplifting, if you try to do something to better yourself they will cheer for you, they will help you if they can or at least not stand in your way. Pickmes will actively sabotage you.
I had a "friend" who criticized me for accepting a job far away from home, saying I will have no time to exercise and eat well and take care of my man. It was grand career move for me, even at the cost of my looks. 3 years later I changed a job to much closer to home and started going to the gym and she said on the day I got membership "don't lose weight too fast, otherwise you will have a lot of hanging skin". That time I was healthy but slightly overweight size 12-14 and she was showing me videos on youtube from US "The biggest loser" of people who lost like 100 kg in 12 months and indeed had loose skin.
Misery loves company
I think that is their own insecurities showing. They bring you down because they themselves are afraid of leveling up. Maybe because they are afraid that they will not have any company if they level up, maybe because they want to be reassured that they are ok the way they are. Anyway, you do you and what makes you happy. If you think they are tearing you down and you don‘t have any chance to get them to stop that behaviour, you might need to rethink those connections. Otherwise you might have the chance to grow other people.
My mum was really similar to yours especially with the first point about predicting us as failures. She neglected both me and my sisters while smothering our youngest brother. She would tell me she thinks my sisters are not very bright and will fail at school (coincidentally she told me a while before that she failed all her school classes). She also deemed my success down to being "lucky". She told me, as if she were giving me a compliment, that she didn't expect me to be successful and thought i "wasn't going anywhere in life".
Her and her mother also made a lot of comments about my body growing up. If i gain weight my mum will say my bellys gotten bigger. Or they will say I have a big butt. Or that I have a small waist. These might seem like compliments but it never felt like it, I was in early puberty when I received them.
My whole family are deeply misogynist but the reason women do it is probably projection and internalised misogyny. The women in my family seem to have taken misogyny to heart and genuinely believe women are beneath men.