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As we should be! Wanted to share a post and there are many posts in r/childfree (I know reddit is a shitty cesspool but the childfree community is a blessing) more and more women are waking up and realizing they have a choice to be childfree and to reject being some scrote's free mommy bangmaid. They want us to breed and continue their shitty DNA then absolutely avoid child rearing and make us work like slaves, barefoot at home for them. Fuck that.
These men are terrified of us choosing to be childfree and even single so they resort to shaming us and sour graping us(devaluing us since they can't have us)
They're really getting desperate out here.
There's so much power in being a childfree woman, especially when you are sterilized! (i have a whole post about sterilization in my post history done via bisalp)
Don't even have to bother with the side effects of birth control or worry about my life being derailed by a child or being a single mother in general.
We are able to save up "fuck you" money in case we ever need to swiftly dip out of a abusive or simply unhappy relationship or if we need to leave a toxic employer all of which we could never easily do if we had a child relying on us.
We're able to have ample time, money and energy to be able to pursue our own passions, careers, hobbies and uplift other women as well. We're able to have more resources to truly dismantle the patriarchy even if its by opting out of the patriarchal lifescript of woman = mother. We don't have to get married for the sake of the kids either. Not to mention we don't ever have to ruin our bodies or our health to birth out a child! There are so many devastating effects of pregnancy we aren't even warned about: autoimmune diseases, uterine prolapse, permanently being torn down there, teeth and hair falling out etc.
And no this isn't a post to shame those who truly want to be mothers THERE IS NUANCE HERE YA'LL.
Us childfree women get attacked on every level for simply existing and choosing ourselves first and foremost which is saving our lives. Literally.
80% of autoimmune sufferers are women.
It's because we are not only expected to be full time mothers, bang maids for men but to also work full time and do 50/50 on top of all that. It's because we are expected to put ourselves last always and yet we are called selfish even when we are back breaking, people pleasing work mules.
You might as well be selfish anyway! You owe it to yourself to give yourself a whole lifetime of being selfish! Especially if you are childfree.
The most selfish people are the ones having kids anyway to spread their ~genes~, to look good on social media, for social points in general, to have a mini me or a caretaker etc. and they disregard climate change on top of it.
Recognize that the world is your oyster as a childfree woman, your time and life is all for you and only you to do whatever the hell you want. You get more say in what man is allowed to be in your life, you get more say in how you spend your time and you get more money which is power for us women. You rejecting society's expectation of you as a walking incubator is a threat to them as it should be! Show them how much of a threat you are.
They hate us cuz they ain't us.
We can't be controlled by society, peer pressure, the cult of mommyhood, or whatever politicians decide on a whim.
We've got money, freedom and independence — no wonder they hate us. Gone are the days of affirmative action for mediocre men.
I love reading all the childfree energy on here and my two cents as a mother (who loves her life), is that anyone who suggests you’re missing out is your enemy.
Motherhood is great if it’s something you want passionately but it’s in no way a marker of what marks female power through nurturing let alone simply what makes a woman. I think all women should lean into their nurturing caring side but should do it in a way that is meaningful to them. Once you’ve sorted yourself financially look to what matters to you and then do that charity project or adopt those cats or plant trees or whatever it is. Obviously if you have no nurturing caring side then do whatever pleases you, I just want it acknowledging that motherhood is only one way to lean into that part of ourselves and see more celebration of female creation.
In my 30s and have never wanted children. Even when I was a teenager, I knew my life would probably go down a different path than most just because I never fit in. Now, there has been some weird biological things in my 30s where I might feel some regret about not having a family of my own. I give myself compassion, and I acknowledge that I could not have handled raising a child.
I think it's important to connect to the part of us that wants to love, nurture, and mother. We can do that in other ways instead of having a child. We can mother ourselves, we can create works of art, we can nurture pets and friends and other women in our communities. In goddess spirituality, there is the Maiden, Mother, Crone, and the "mother" part does not have to be literal. It's about tapping into the love you want to give to yourself and to others.
And, if you think about it, maybe that love is the most threatening thing of all to the patriarchy that only wants to create death, degradation, domination, and destruction. Love is incompatible with capitalism and hierarchy. Love is very radical in that way. It always threatens the status quo.
Having children is inherently selfish, in my opinion.
Most parents bring children into this world without thinking of any repercussions. They think, "awe baby" or "he'll stay with me this way" or "muh legacy".
But they fail to comprehend they are bringing a human into this world who will then be interacting with society.
Children need to be raised in a healthy environment, and people couldn't care less.
If people were honest and aware we would have way less traumatized children.
i'm getting close to 30 now and there are a lot of pickme women that are questioning me, shaming me, and trying to make jabs/snarky comments about how I'm single and do not have kids. They'll bring it up and then act superior to me because they have a man and kids. their internalized msyogyny runs deep.
conversely, i've never felt the need to shame or degrade other women for wanting a marriage or children. what i will shame is LOW VALUE behaviors though.
even when i was still a little kid, I knew i never wanted to have my own children. there is nothing wrong with that. i just never imagined myself happy as a mother, but oddly enough i do like volunteering and working with children.
women who know what they want (either way on kids) are threatening, we are more "set in our ways" and harder to fool or manipulate by scrotes. i just want to have peace in my life and have the freedom to focus on myself. kids seem like a big responsibility and i already know they are something i cannot handle, i think i would be miserable and overwhelmed.
I just love the energy of childfree women. I'm around 98% sure I don't want children. Maybe I'll adopt, maybe I won't.
The worst part is that men want to control women they aren't in a relationship with, If they see a woman being controlled like her parents being this way towards her the men will try to control her too because the parents don't seem to mind.
When a woman can't be controlled men will look for reinforcements like talk to your friends and use them to convince you not to be out late. Some men even impregnante women without their consent to stop them from going to University to become better and higher educated than men.
It is for the best to keep quiet, don't talk about your dreams, don't talk about what you are going to do and it's better not to be friends with men or possible pickme's. Everything you say can or will be used against you.
Men enjoy control, they enjoy controlling others when they feel that it makes the parents happy but not for your benefit but for theirs. I notice myself that male family members love control. When I told my dream that I would love to go overseas and go to a dance academy to learn Ballet.
One Uncle said I can't go, he didn't even say when you are 18 you can go, he said I'm not going and that's why I decided not to have family members in my personal life, If I become a mother they will not be notified and they will not get to know my baby. People who enjoy control are just going to make me feel uneasy in life while life is supposed to be great.
It is absolutely possible for women with kids who also date men to be threats to patriarchy, and we should do that.
About two weeks ago my professor made a comment on how his daughter doesn't want to have kids and most likely doesn't want to marry because it's a lame lifestyle to have and called her ridiculous for it. Then proceeded to say "I don't know why women are following this trend now, I mean? har har har"
I stopped coming to his class after that.
Thankfully his lectures are recorded & I don't have to see his repulsive ass.
SAY IT LOUDER TO THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!!!! YES to all of this!!
I know we're kind of split on female separatism, but since we're the people who have kids, and raise kids, and as much as they say they could just "HaVE sOcIetIeS" without us, they wouldn't, and can't. They aren't designed to raise babies. They're designed to rape teens and go to war. An ideal setup would be selecting for more female babies, and letting a few males run around and do heavy lifting that machinery can't do. But let's be real, there's no job a man can do that women can't. They can benchpress more, and that's really about it. Women are the original creators. Religions, slavery to build big castles, male violence, these are all reactions to be an extension of the original, and we need to weild that power. Doesn't mean we can't date them; they're just more expendable than us and there should never be more men than women in a society. Anything more than 20% male population breeds violence and fucking misery on women just so men can have penis feels and "feel like men."
For what it's worth, I don't think motherhood itself is patriarchy's ultimate aim for women. I think motherhood IN A CERTAIN WAY (namely, connected to a MAN) is the aim.
When I was adamently child-free (most of my life), I got all the typical snide remarks and jabs from all of these randos that were seething over how much I was enjoying life. Interestingly, when I had a child a year ago and decided to leave her father so that I could raise my child amongst my family and friends (large community of women), and went back to enjoying my life, it seemed the anger/ seething intensified. In other words, I was living the other side of the child-free coin: patriarchal thinking cannot compute women being happy AND child-free, but it also cannot compute women being happy WITH a child. . . but NO MAN involved. Being a childless spinster living with cats is supposed to be one of the WORST things that can happen to a woman, according to patriarchal logic, even though- assuming you haven't internalized incel talking points- that's pretty much the pinnacle of life. But being a SINGLE MOTHER is supposed to be like some sort of punishment for failed women, according to patriachal logic, when- in reality- assuming you've got funds and friends/family in the home to act as godmothers, aunts, second and third moms, grandma-it's as lovely as cat lady life. (I say this as a cat lady.)