I've decided to just opt out of the dating game for a good while, work on my own stuff and just be happy being alone and decentering men. Please give me all your reasons you love being single!
Sole control of the remote. Nobody else fighting over the use of my one-and-only TV or the comfy chair. No having to deal with some dude's meltdown over his sports team losing or whining about wanting to play games while I binge watch pride & prejudice or the paradise and embroider. No stupid battle sound effects turned up way too loud so that it triggers my anxiety.
Sole use of the bathroom. No needing to plan hot water usage or wait for the unit to heat back up, I can take an hour long lobster shower or soak in my whirlpool tub until I am a wrinkly jelly mass.
No man stinking up any of my bathrooms or leaving shaved off hairs in the sink or dirty undies on the bathroom floor.
The food in the kitchen is ALL MINE. Nobody eating my leftovers or drinking the last of my bourbon. My chips are always resealed properly, my cookies are never gone, my jerky stash has never been raided. No dirty dishes in the sink (when the dishwasher is empty) and no half-cleaned up messes or toast crumbs left on the counter. No cabinet doors left open and no drawers half-closed.
No muddy boot prints on my nice clean floors. No dirty handprints on my doors and door trim. No spills on my rugs or rub marks on my walls to be scrubbed off.
No laundry scattered on the floor around the hamper instead of IN the hamper. No fighting over the laundry machines or sweaty gym clothes forgotten and left to mildew. No sweaty boot socks stuffed down between my couch cushions and forgotten about. Nobody leaving sharpies in uniform pockets then yelling at me for missing them and ruining that set of ACU's.
Nobody stealing my laptop or desktop command center to play games or watch porn on my multiple screens. Nobody changing the color settings on my RGB links to suit their own preferences. No sweaty residue on my very expensive gaming headset.
Nobody to argue with me that sateen sheets are superior to percale sheets (THERE'S NO CONTEST AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE ON THIS) and then complaining when he's not the one to wash, iron, and dress the bed in them. And no telling me that ironing the pillowcases and flat sheet top is a ridiculous waste of time. No skid marks from his unwashed ass. No yellow residue left from his sweaty self. No having to deal with a ceiling fan blowing in my face all night because he can't sleep without it. No figthing over the duvet, no being woken up randomly for sex. No waking up to him humping my back then when I get mad being gaslighted that he was just trying to snuggle me.
No fighting over take-out, restaurants, or pizza toppings.
No need to look pretty or fuckable when I get home. I can run around in my 3 sizes too big sweats and mens 5x B&T tees to sleep in and nobody to complain that I never dress up for him anymore.
No need to console a grown-ass man when he had a bad day at work, doesn't like your hair a certain color or they were out of his favorite soup at lunch. No need to deal with his bullshit opinions, wants, bad habits and destructive tendencies. No need to humour him on subjects you have zero interest in (warhammer figurines? GAH!) just to try and maintain a relationship. No talking him out of terrible ideas that will do nothing but cause you more trouble and work, no fighting over finances (no you cannot spend 5k of MY SAVINGS on crypto ...... ), no waking up to the sound of your beautifully restored 1969 corvette stingray LT1 being backed out of the garage after you told him not to take it last night. No replacing the panel he got hit in because he was being a bad driver in your baby.
(This turned into a major catharsis for me, thanks!)
Sole control of the remote. Nobody else fighting over the use of my one-and-only TV or the comfy chair. No having to deal with some dude's meltdown over his sports team losing or whining about wanting to play games while I binge watch pride & prejudice or the paradise and embroider. No stupid battle sound effects turned up way too loud so that it triggers my anxiety.
Sole use of the bathroom. No needing to plan hot water usage or wait for the unit to heat back up, I can take an hour long lobster shower or soak in my whirlpool tub until I am a wrinkly jelly mass.
No man stinking up any of my bathrooms or leaving shaved off hairs in the sink or dirty undies on the bathroom floor.
The food in the kitchen is ALL MINE. Nobody eating my leftovers or drinking the last of my bourbon. My chips are always resealed properly, my cookies are never gone, my jerky stash has never been raided. No dirty dishes in the sink (when the dishwasher is empty) and no half-cleaned up messes or toast crumbs left on the counter. No cabinet doors left open and no drawers half-closed.
No muddy boot prints on my nice clean floors. No dirty handprints on my doors and door trim. No spills on my rugs or rub marks on my walls to be scrubbed off.
No laundry scattered on the floor around the hamper instead of IN the hamper. No fighting over the laundry machines or sweaty gym clothes forgotten and left to mildew. No sweaty boot socks stuffed down between my couch cushions and forgotten about. Nobody leaving sharpies in uniform pockets then yelling at me for missing them and ruining that set of ACU's.
Nobody stealing my laptop or desktop command center to play games or watch porn on my multiple screens. Nobody changing the color settings on my RGB links to suit their own preferences. No sweaty residue on my very expensive gaming headset.
Nobody to argue with me that sateen sheets are superior to percale sheets (THERE'S NO CONTEST AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE ON THIS) and then complaining when he's not the one to wash, iron, and dress the bed in them. And no telling me that ironing the pillowcases and flat sheet top is a ridiculous waste of time. No skid marks from his unwashed ass. No yellow residue left from his sweaty self. No having to deal with a ceiling fan blowing in my face all night because he can't sleep without it. No figthing over the duvet, no being woken up randomly for sex. No waking up to him humping my back then when I get mad being gaslighted that he was just trying to snuggle me.
No fighting over take-out, restaurants, or pizza toppings.
No need to look pretty or fuckable when I get home. I can run around in my 3 sizes too big sweats and mens 5x B&T tees to sleep in and nobody to complain that I never dress up for him anymore.
No need to console a grown-ass man when he had a bad day at work, doesn't like your hair a certain color or they were out of his favorite soup at lunch. No need to deal with his bullshit opinions, wants, bad habits and destructive tendencies. No need to humour him on subjects you have zero interest in (warhammer figurines? GAH!) just to try and maintain a relationship. No talking him out of terrible ideas that will do nothing but cause you more trouble and work, no fighting over finances (no you cannot spend 5k of MY SAVINGS on crypto ...... ), no waking up to the sound of your beautifully restored 1969 corvette stingray LT1 being backed out of the garage after you told him not to take it last night. No replacing the panel he got hit in because he was being a bad driver in your baby.
(This turned into a major catharsis for me, thanks!)