The invisible script that even patriarchy itself has been duped with -- so they brainwash you into believing the same thing too.
That you, a human being, can control other human being. And the extreme fear that you can be controlled by another human being.
This is why men travel far and wide to conquer other nations. This is why men throw money into the void and start wars. This is why men get violent and fight other men to death. This is why men spend all their time coercing, intimidating, bullying, beating, gaslighting, and abusing women. Why slavery exists. And why they stay in complete misery until their last breath.
This is why pickmes become the perfect mommy bangmaid pornstar doormat servant to men. Why toxic women push "kindness" onto you and silently expect that you will do things for them in return. Why mothers helicopter-parent their children, restricting every movement of their daughters and serve their sons hands and feet even when they are more than capable of handling themselves. And why they stay in complete misery until their last breath.
It is the belief that if you do x, y, and z -- you can control other people. And can direct them (like puppet on string) to think this way and act that way.
And it is the invisible script that everybody has -- all around the globe, since the dawn of humanity. You have to work really hard to get out of it. But once you do -- you truly, truly see why the world just keep going in stupid loops. Why history keeps repeating itself and nobody seems to learn a damn thing.
Why a person very personal NOs and rejection are taken as a personal insult by another human being.
Why you are so deathly afraid of letting go of the steering wheel and let him lead. Which I meant let him do all the work while you sit back and relax -- but you hear "he has complete control over me".
Why when I say "respect" -- you hear "he has complete control over me" -- when what I actually mean is that simple two-finger salute because he did something that impress you. Nothing more, nothing less.
Why every discussion about relationship dynamics somehow turns into debate about power struggles.
Why you feel like if you don't fight for that power and be defensive of that "control wheel" 24/7 -- other people will have complete control over you.
Not your fault though -- it took me almost 10 years to be completely out of that invisible script. I had to come to some painful (and super duper humiliating) realization about myself.
And I am here to tell you this - no, that "power" is an illusion. It is a complete and utter LIE. Nobody, and I mean nobody can control another human being. Not your children, not your husband, not your friends, not your family. And even with pets, it has some ground for argument.
And on the same vein -- no other human being -- not your children, not your husband, not your friends, not your family, has any type of control over you. This statement may not be true 20 years ago when men can still violently beat you into submission in public and get away with it -- but it is true NOW.
That's why the patriarchy immediately brainwash and break you into believing this lie right out of the womb. And as "peace offering" (so you don't riot), they taught you "moral code" -- aka being absurdly nice and forgiving to the point of being a doormat, look this way and act that way -- and you can "control" how other people treat and think about you. Be a martyr selfless mom-being to your children and you can "control" them this way and that. Being endlessly loving and caring and understanding and blah blah blah and you can "control" how your husband will love you.
COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE. That you have been bullied, coerced, gaslighted into believing.
But once you realize the lie and stop believing it, and let go of that fear of being controlled, the need to be in control, and the need to fight for control -- you will be free. You will be able to find peace within yourself. And start interacting with other people like how it is suppose to be -- without any of that subconscious need to be the one in control.
That's why it is so, so crucial that you first work on getting out of that brainwashing and get out of that invisible script. I want you to feel when that burden is finally lifted off your shoulder. And exercising your standards and boundaries will be a breeze after this. Because you no longer feel any of that intense fear and get triggered by every little thing.
The truth is this: You can't control anybody. And nobody can control you. And that's how you find peace.
Give it some thoughts. Stay safe.
Men were not able to beat women in public 20 years ago and get away with it. You need to come to terms with the fact that misogyny is worse now than it was 20 years ago and it is also worse than it was 40 years ago. Older women today, Gen X and Boomers, had it better as women than both millennials and Gen Z. But otherwise I agree with you. We cannot control other people and we’re fools to try.
Who or what is in control if a girl is being sexually assaulted by a male?