So, I know many fds users don't support reddit anymore but this was reposted on Instagram.
The dudes in the comments (so cowardly they only appear in replies), serve as proof if you ever had trouble understanding why the fds handbook has a rule about not sharing sexual (& I think also dating history).
This severely increases apathy in me towards men because even with my zero dating history what I understand about my self is that I can flirt easily with men and women without even realizing. But when I try to talk to someone to someone I have romantic feelings for...I can't speak to them at all. My throat gets clogged, and I feel so ashamed (idk how to describe it) that I can't even look at them or stand next to them. So, I could only open up to them slowly.
I understand that my sexuality is the same as well. I genuine believe I'm one of the few women who can have casual sex and one nights stands without it harming my mental health. The reason I would not is because casual sex for women is high risk, no reward. And all the statistic that came out about the how rarely woman orgasm having first time sex with a man and how frequently women orgasm having first time sex with a woman. So, there is so much risk and danger with hooking up with men while there is literally no reward in the act if you do it with them. Sex will never compare to a vibrator imo.
But if I can't even stand next to a person I have romantic feelings for (even that takes a lot of will power), and it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with them. Plus I would be sentimental and take my sweet time building up the relationship (tell women in my family about every date like it's a fairytale or...kdrama).
The most important thing is that because I always understood the bare minimum about how most men work. I would never care what a one night stand thought of me the next morning. I don't want their friendship and I most likely don't want to see them again. I also hate "friends with benefits". Date me openly but without becoming exclusive if you don't want a relationship, I don't want to be treated like bootycall or dirty side piece who comes through the back door in the dead of the night because somehow.....a guy wouldn't want to be seen with me? Why am I even attractive if you don't want to whole world to see us dating even if it's not exclusively?
So, with one night stands and casual sex, I wouldn't care if they stopped being so nice to me in the morning and have no interest in me as a person, because I have no interest in them as a person and I wouldn't be interested or nice to them when I woke up to. I just hate the guys I heard about who wont even talk to or look at you in the morning after you had sex, and are cold and borderline rude to you because they're afraid you want more than sex. Can I please leave in the morning with some dignity instead of feeling like I disgust you now that you have no use for me. And because you judge me for exactly what you begged me for.
Most importantly because I know the bare minimum about how guys work...I couldn't bear someone I can't stop thinking about, who makes me shy...being nice to me the night before and acting indifferent to me in the morning. Because I gave it up too fast and now he doesn't want to get to know me because I will never change in his eyes. I really don't ever want to feel that or have to get over that.
I would rather look at him from a far for the rest of my life than ever turn to face him in the morning and realize he doesn't want anymore to do with me, and because I dove into him without inhibitions, he doesn't respect me.
I don't want someone who was always nice to me to be callous to me because I loved them in a way that made them look down on me and put me in a category.
Lol, I ever have feelings for someone who's proven to be a HVM, I want deep emotional investment from them. Like sink my manicure deep into their heart so they're even more at risk of hurting their feelings than I am before we have sex.
Anyways, if you guys decide to read the link, most importantly the male commentators. A very important impression I got was that her decision to not have sex with him right away saved her from really bad pain.
Op most likely wouldn't have respected her after sex even though he felt entitled to it. He looks down on her very much and he most likely would walk away after taking what he wanted from her because he doesn't respect her. If she did get the relationship she wanted it would be low effort and high sexual expectations and many "if he wanted to he could" moments once he got with a girl he respects, and gets emotionally invested in before he has sex.