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So I’ve been thinking lately about this widespread male obsession with “gold diggers,” and I find it honestly baffling.
Here’s the contradiction I keep coming back to: a lot of men say they want a traditional wife—someone who stays at home, takes care of the kids, keeps the house clean, and doesn’t work outside the home. But at the same time, they absolutely don’t want her to ask for any money. So… how exactly is she supposed to live? These men seem to want some fantasy heiress who is rich enough to give up her career and lifestyle just to cook and clean for them full-time. As if that’s something most women aspire to.
And let’s be real—most of the men ranting about women being gold diggers don’t have any “gold” to begin with. It’s always the ones who are broke or financially unstable who are the loudest about how women should be paying half or more. Is it really about “protecting” themselves from gold digging, or is it just that they can’t afford dating in the first place? Especially when they’re trying to keep a “rotation” of women going—it’s no wonder they’re stretched thin.
Another thing that recently struck me: I was talking to a guy who is disabled, and he told me he was looking for a woman who could be the provider. He said he’d take care of the house, cook and clean, but he was too disabled to work. And I couldn’t help but wonder… if you’re able to do all the housework, how are you completely unable to do any remote or part-time job for a few hundred bucks a month?
It’s wild how some men expect a woman who works full-time, pays her own bills, and manages her own household to then turn around and support a man financially—while he cleans a bit (probably badly, considering how many men “weaponize incompetence” these days) and contributes nothing to the household income.
Unless you’re dealing with a truly severe condition or a rare disability, there are options—remote work, customer service, online jobs. Plenty of people with limitations find ways to contribute. Even burnout is often temporary (I’ve been through it myself and recovered). So this expectation that women should become the breadwinner, housekeeper, and emotional support system while these men do nothing but the bare minimum? It’s delusional.
What I’m seeing more and more is that some men don’t actually want a partner—they want a maid, a mother, a bank account, and someone who will do all of this without complaint and with a smile on her face. And somehow they think they’re entitled to this.
Oh, it's absolutely to scam women into paying for more and more to "prove" they aren't gold diggers.
These guys want to make women so busy proving themselves, that women would forget men should be the ones having to prove themselves to women.
I know a woman who's not even asking for anything in a divorce after her ex caused her so much pain and suffering. He apparently has plenty of money. She's crying to me all the time about not having enough money for this and that, but for some reason still wants to prove she doesn't want his money.
I can maybe understand not wanting the hassle of fighting him for money in divorce court, but she's not citing that as the reason. She's being very "I'm not a gold digger" about this.
Girl, he wrecked havoc on your health for years. Financial compensation would be the least he could do. Still wouldn't make up for it entirely, but would be better than nothing.
She is a lesson in how much it is not to our benefit to prove ourselves to men.
You’re spot on. In addition, men are the real gold diggers. It’s always been projection. Men want women to contribute to the finances 50/50 while also doing most of the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and emotional labor. Dudes have been digging for gold since the beginning of time.
This! If they even use the word about women or any singular woman, get away from this dude. The fun part is, no matter how you act, he will eventually make you out to be a "Gold Digger." It's inevitable; so just get out if you see he ever even uses the word at all.
The reason you can't see the logic is because there isn't any. Men use "gold-digger" as an insult so that women will be terrified to ask for anything, such as men paying for dates or even contributing to the household. It's all manipulation and is nothing to do with logic or fairness, despite what men say.
For this reason, I avoid any man who even has the word "gold-digger" in his vocabulary.
They're talking about 2 different women. They're mad they weren't born rich 'cause most men are repulsed by hard work, so they want to sponge off a woman who they don't want asking them for money because they don't have any. Once they're finished sucking her resources dry and she's built them up, he's gonna trade her in for a woman he really wants because he can afford her now and THAT woman he doesn’t want working--he wants her at home handling all the household crap he can't be bothered to do and just provide a wallet. If she can't support herself, she can't leave him. And that's the way he likes it, because he'll have guaranteed sex and domestic labor taken care of PLUS the "respect" from other men that he paid for a beautiful mommy-concubine like she's an exotic workhorse.