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I had an encounter with a man recently who boasted lavishly about how wealthy he was, how he has homes in different countries, how it's so hard to make real friends because people only want him for his money, yadda yadda yadda.
(Pro tip ladies: If a man talks to you about all the money he has...he has no money at all.)
He then goes on a logic-rant about how important and meaningful it is when a woman splits the bill, or at least pays tip, or at least offers to pay some part of the meal.
He then proceeds to ask me out.
My answer was, simply, "I'm sorry, I can't afford it."
It was not the answer he was expecting, and it was amusing to see the wheels start turning in his head about how his plan to get some p*ssy (and getting me to pay him for it) was slowly unraveling.
He backpedals. "It's just tip, it's not that much."
"I only cook at home. I really can't afford to eat out at all."
"Ok, ok, ok--here, since I'm asking you out, I'll pay for it totally. How about that?"
"Mm, but it sounds like you're going to have a secret expectation that I'll offer to pay, or down the line you will expect me to, so no thank you; I don't have the money to spare."
He gave me his phone number in case I "changed my mind", and reiterated that no really, no really, he'll really pay all of it, no secret expectations.
I tossed his phone number.
I agree 100%. I would also argue that being generous or miserly is not just about what you spend, it's also a way of thinking. Miserly people can only ever think in terms of what they feel they are owed or what they can get from people. Generous people think in terms of what they can give or what they can do for people. A man who nickles and dimes on a first date is also a man who will begrudge you a nice wedding dress or nice holidays or nice things for your children. I once worked with a man who had budgeted a certain amount for baby diapers and wouldn't let his wife spend a penny more than what he had budgeted. That's where you end up if you marry a miserly man.
Edited to add: I've just remembered, this male co-worker also bragged about all the ways that he avoided paying for dates. For example he said that when he was dating his wife, they'd often go clubbing together but he would say to her "I'm working late that day. I'll meet you inside the club". I only mention this because it backs up what OP is saying about men paying for dates.
Yeah if a person constantly talks about being rich, the chances are that person isn't rich. There's something in psychology called reaction formation where people deliberately act in a way opposite from what they truly are to set a false impression. Most truly rich people are low-key as they don't want to be exploited because of their wealth. Truly rich people also tend to only date within their social class (or go for very attractive trophy SOs).
QUEEN SHIT 👸
edit: got downvoted, u good girl?
Damn right they are! Your post reminded me of these articles written by a scrote loser with all the audacity
And
https://thepowermoves.com/paying-on-dates/
Maybe the scrote (that tried to rob you out of your time, attention AND money) was reading and taking ideas from those shit articles...
This is yet another one of those "say you're broke without saying you're broke" scrotes.
Well done on losing his number.
I love your reply to him!! That is some Queen shit right there 👏👑
Sis I'm borrowing this word for word. Not that I even entertain these men, but I love having the words to make their little heads explode.
My other pro tip, when they suggest a coffee date: tell them you'd prefer a video call instead. Watch em fumble in confusion.
Rich men who lead with their money and then expect women to not want money are a special kind of dumb.