Quick recap: I had a male interviewer ask me, towards the end of the interview, if my last name is my husband's name or father's name. I was annoyed but said it was my father's name. Some days later, he sent an email offering me the job but I turned it down. He wrote back asking why I had turned it down and if there was anything that could be amended so I decided to let him know that asking about my last name being my husband's or father's was inappropriate.
Now for the update!
In his reply, he said the following:
1) he didn't mean to disrespect me but said that many men didn't qualify to be interviewed
2) I was invited to be interviewed because I am valued and respected
3) he understands how the question may have made me feel and view the working environment I'd be in, if I took the job to which he sincerely apologises
Now, even though he apologised, he still, like many men, missed the point, in my opinion. Whether many men apply for a job or not, no one's marital status should be brought up. In the case of a remote job, like the one I applied for, my martial status is irrelevant. Notice that he didn't out rightly say that he had no business asking whether I was married or not, especially because the job isn't based on my marital status but skirted around the issue before giving an apology.
I say all this to say:
1) where possible, call men out on their stupid and irrational behaviour. You may not always get the best response but it will make them reconsider being an idiot in the future, especially because women hardly call men out
2) a lot of men will dodge taking responsibility for their mistakes and only offer apologies that are only somewhat acceptable or not acceptable at all.