I was asked to join a rock band, with two male members, drummer (20) and guitarist/singer (40). I've been training for a few weeks now and everything went well. Except...
Those two were constantly fighting, talking behind each others back. We were meeting once a week in order to get to know each other better. Whenever one of them was missing, the other one talked shit about the other. Really nasty shit. Especially the older guitarist about the younger drummer.
Yesterday the same situation happened. Drummer wasn't there yet. It was getting really ugly and was going on for really long time, so I told the older guitarist to quit it and talk to the other guy directly. He said he will. Then the drummer arrived and the guitarist never said a word. Eventually, they started to fight, like usual. I was talking to someone else while they yelled at each other. Then I asked if they discussed the issue that guitarist wanted to talk about.
They looked at me like I was an alien. They asked what I mean, and that they don't have any issue with each other at all. I specifically asked the guitarist, that it's the thing we talked about before the drummer arrived. Then he openly lied that he doesn't know about anything. They both tried to gaslight me, riddiculed me for being "feminist" who always stir up conflicts. They started to laugh like I was the silly cute confused fEmALe, who doesn't understand how boys talk. I blocked and deleted both of them right away and left.
I'm so glad that I did it early. Old me would wait for a little longer, because I really wanted to play.