All right FDS buckle up because I'm sleep deprived and ready to dish.
Here's the story about my male work colleagues who I associated with during my 20's in my male dominated, nerd filled workplace. It's a warning to any woman out there who works in a male dominated environment that these people aren't your friends, and they will most likely have issues that you just don't know about yet. OH and they will all hit on you when they get the chance, YES all of them, eventually.
I worked adjacent to a specialised tech field that attracts some of the most audacious scrotes out there. Ones that revel in their ability to lie and do it for their job. I have been the 'only woman' for the better part of my career until recently. At one point in my 20's I rolled tight with a crew that worked together, partied together and socialized together. I thought these dudes were cool, and I was a NLOG pick me to the max. Hanging out with men all the time has that effect.
After a year or two their facade started to slip and each and every one of them showed to be low value men. Hanging around them probably pulled me down and prevented me from leveling up in a number of ways.
Here are the red flags I encountered and what has eventually happened to these guys over the last 5 years.
* strip clubs for work lunches
* drinking at the job most days
* heavy alcohol use / hazing rituals involving alcohol abuse
* casual illegal drug use / nonchalant about others illegal drug use
* smoking weed at work
* disappearing from work for days at a time
* "confesses" to cheating on their wife/girlfriend
* bragging about unethical actions
* low empathy for others
Here's how their lives are going. I'm going to call them all Greg because Greg sucks
Greg 1- in his 40s: cheated on his wife with a coworker, hit on me at a conference, is balding and can't accept it
Greg 2- early 30s divorced, recently started dating a sugar baby (she really likes him and wants to have a relationship!) is an alcoholic and addicted to lots more than that, and is on the 'party scene' every weekend. Hit on me when he was my manager. Is facing multiple HR complaints at work.
Greg 3- 40's has been hospitalized for alcoholism and will die if he ever drinks again. Ghosted me because I said something feminist/pro woman and hasn't spoken to me since. Hit on me at a conference with his gf at the time and denied it ever happened. Has kids from a divorce he barely sees.
Greg 4- Disappeared from our lives for 6 months, showed up 2 days before a courthouse wedding to his gf of 6 months. Disappeared for another 6 months, shows up divorced. Disappears for another 6 months until 2 days before next wedding. Disappears again, who knows what next.
People like this will pull you into a train wreck along with them. Learn from my mistakes. Don't be a cool girl. And most of all if you see a red flag from one guy in a group, you can probably extrapolate that they all have issues since they condone the behaviour. Having low value friends is self harm.