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I can’t count how many times I’ve heard "this is why you're single" from men—almost always right after I set a boundary.
If I’m on a dating app and a guy starts bragging about how many matches he has or how much he's "in demand," I’ll say, respectfully, that I’m not interested in men who are actively dating around or chasing hookup culture. Every time, without fail, the mask slips. Suddenly I’m met with:
"This is why you're single."
"Enjoy your cats."
"You’ll die alone."
"You’re fat, old, and ugly anyway—get over yourself."
It’s predictable, juvenile, and incredibly telling.
What always baffles me is this idea that being single is some kind of punishment—like it’s proof I’ve failed at life. Maybe for them, it is a punishment. Maybe that's what the so-called "loneliness epidemic" looks like: men projecting their own fear of rejection onto women who simply aren't interested in their behavior.
Because here’s the reality:
For many men, being single = rejected, undateable, undesirable.
For many women, being single = standards, freedom, self-respect.
I don’t know a single woman who couldn’t open her inbox right now and find five desperate men vying for her attention. If a woman posts a profile with cleavage and a short skirt on apps like Tinder or Field, it won’t take an hour before men are practically begging to hook up. So no, being single isn’t about lack of access or options.
It’s about quality. And for most women I know, the quality of available men is simply not there.
We're not single because nobody wants us—we're single because we’re not settling for men who insult, manipulate, or objectify us. And if you think telling me “this is why you're single” is going to somehow shame me into accepting that kind of treatment—think again.
Let’s be honest:
A good man—an emotionally available, respectful, intelligent man—isn’t going to react to a boundary by lashing out with petty insults.
He’s not going to say “you’re fat and delusional.”
He’s not going to tell a woman to “enjoy dying alone.”
He’s going to respect that not every woman is for him—and move on with grace.
So next time a man tries to weaponize your relationship status against you, remind yourself:
To him, being single might be a life sentence.
To you, it’s freedom until someone worth your peace comes along.
Let them keep projecting. We’ll keep choosing better.
Well, my cats are furry little serotonin dispensers who make me smile or laugh several times a day and who are actually grateful for everything I do for them. Saving a cat nobody wants and giving them a home actually made my life better and happier.
Trying to save a man nobody wants will get you abused, gaslit and - if you are unlucky - assaulted, raped or killed.
If I have the choice between spending my time sifting through trash heaps of desperate men in real life or on the apps (let's be real here: every single woman would find some kind of scrote to date if she just lowers her standards enough, the point is that most choose to be single rather than that) and spending my time making the life of an innocent animal better, I'll choose the animal, thank you.
Like you say, it's all projection! Most women are able to live perfectly happily without a man in their life. Most single women I know have a wide circle of friends and a variety of hobbies and interests. They don't sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Single men are the ones who do that. Single men are the ones who sit in their basement, alone, bitter and angry. Men are the ones who constantly complain about loneliness, often while doing nothing to make new friends or improve themselves so that they'd make a more desireable partner, not women.
That's why these men lash out and say things like "Enjoy dying alone". Every accusation is a confession from men like that.