He lied to me for 8 months.

I was dating an alcoholic addict and never knew about it until recently.

I met this person online & we clicked immediately. Everything was wonderful, it was the happiest & healthiest relationship I've been in. It started out by buying me expensive gifts, telling me how he knows I'm his person, telling me he wants to marry me and have a future with me, telling me how he wants to get better for me by getting a better job and trying to go back to school (He searched up options once & then he never spoke about it again), how I was the best thing that ever happened to him, met his family, he met mine, telling people I'm his wife months later into the relationship, supporting me financially for school which I'm always going to be thankful for, etc....

At some point, I started to notice that every time we would argue it would always end up with an excuse like "I'm sorry I acted this way but I've been going through a lot right now" at first...I didn't think too much of it and let it slide, then it kept happening in every argument. When we went to our first cruise together, he bought weed gummies and this was my first time consuming any type of weed. Long story short, I ended up going to the hospital, throwing up my guts away, having horrible panic attacks and I started wondering about my safety in the future with him.

Not too long ago, we went to a concert...everything was incredible until he started having beer & I'm like oh who he cares, we're here for a good time and we're going back in uber to go home. This is where it got interesting. When the concert ended, him and I needed to go to the bathroom but in the floor we were at, it was closed, the security told him nicely about it several times and theres bathrooms downstairs but he kept pushing at it. I told him to not stress it we will go downstairs; unfortunately the line was horrendously huge. So we decided to go to the bathroom at a local CVS, surprise, surprise, the bathrooms were "out of service" which obviously they weren't because a concert just happened nearby and I know it was to prevent a mess. I didn't care about it & just thought "Ok....where can we go to next" for me to hear one of the employees tell him it was out of service for me to hear "Yo brother, you know this is illegal right? This is a human right and you're taking that away. This is a lawsuit!!" Then mentioned it to another employee...I already felt embarrassed and just wanted to leave.

When we went looking for another place, at some point he let go of my hand and started speed walking, leaving me alone (Mind you it was already 11-12am in a not so safe area), for me to had to run to get to him. We ended up finding a restaraunt to try it out, two sweet ladies told him it was just for customers only, started disrespecting them, I noticed how scared they got & I just pulled him away, apologized to the ladies and left. When the uber arrived to take us home, he got in first and it felt like....he forgot I was behind him.

As we got home, he wanted to drive to his house drunk, I begged for him to stay and I thank God that I did, but he started crying telling me he feels like a failure, instead of comforting me because of how uncomfortable I was the entire night. He ended up leaving the next day after without telling me he loves me or even a good morning, just a "I need to go"....we didn't speak for several days, when we did, he confessed that he's been lying to me for all these months, that he's an addict. 8 months....8 months to tell me. I expressed to him how I felt, and I told him this was his last chance with me.

He ended up breaking up with me through video call last night, telling me how he doesn't deserve me, how his addiction is only going to get worse, told me how he hasn't been eating, or sleeping properly, his psoarias is flaring up these past few days & it made me feel like he wanted me to feel guilty over what he did, how he doesn't like it how i make him feel whenever we argue, apparently people told him it's not normal that we argue a lot but its like......why couldn't you address this to me as grown adults to work on things? He would also tell me how he can't see his life without me, he would fight for us because there's no way that he can't be without me....just to tell me I'm not his person and its best we go our separate ways. I had to hang up because it was just too painful for me, and ended up blocking him everywhere.

I was nothing but kind, constantly showing affection, being patient, accepting him who he is, loyal....I was even willing to be there for him to support him, because thats what partners do.....You don't just give up on someone.

Just for him to throw me away like that. He just threw me away like if I meant nothing anymore. I feel so incredibly stupid right now. I let someone take advantage of me, believing it was love.