Another repost from the subreddit from /u/warinmymind94
Growing up in a religious area, I was always taught "abstinence is the best policy" and my tween self would giggle or roll my eyes. Later I started FDS and since moving (which has been about a year) I stopped having sex. I decentered men from my life and started vetting a lot more ruthlessly... and I stopped having sex. There are a lot of key reasons as to why I'm not keen to "put out" anytime soon:
- realizing scrotes are motivated to have sex. I'm motivated to find someone marriage minded and more interested in goals.
-sex became something that I learned to truly enjoy alone. Pleasing yourself tends to curb or even stop that craving from a man. I can satisfy myself and then quickly return to thinking rationally rather than acting foolishly from being horny.
- I built up the relationships I do have with family and friends. Before I would feel lonely and be more tempted to use OLD or settle for low effort "hangouts" (coffee, etc) but now when I do want to chat or hang I just do that with my friends and family.
-I started going more places alone. Taking myself on dates. Buying myself nicer things. More self care as well. I feel more confident and loved. It's nice to enjoy the peace and really take your time exploring an attraction or really take your time shopping.
- health concerns, I not only got my own insurance over the past year but I also had some issues come up. Plus moving and having to find and try to get appointments with new doctors was a headache. Plus the cost of it all. It's a lot to keep on top of. Do scrotes even care that we have to get check ups and manage birth control and std tests or even dealing with bv/throwing off our pH is just extra time and money and effort then I have to put out to get taken care of... just because of their dirty dicks? I have enough on my plate. I don't need to deal with a yeast infection atop that.
-the orgasm gap. I was always in denial of this before fds. Sex would feel okay or sort of good but never came close to the pleasure I can give myself. So many men are awful and selfish in bed.
-thinking about the value of substance in a relationship. What would happen if I was with a man and I became seriously injured or unable to have sex? What happens if I get really sick and don't have the energy for it? What happens when I become old and feeble and can't do it anymore?
-vulnerability: you're so vulnerable when you're alone and naked with a man. Think about it. He's usually bigger and stronger than you and he's gonna be on top of you. Massive safety issue. But also what if he has hidden cameras filming? What if everything seems okay and now he's turns into a stalker?
-the reality of biology: you're the one that's at risk to get pregnant. You're also the one who is biologically designed to release bonding hormones after having sex that makes you feel attached to him. That's why women can't do "fwb" because you do get attached, some just don't show it or will lie.
-it cheapens yourself and women as a whole: by doing casual sex you're showing these scrotes they can get pussy for free or very low effort and use you. It perpetuates that they see women as an object.
Let's also talk about the effort that happens with protection: you have to go out and buy it or make a dr appointment to get it. Certain contraceptives have side effects that are awful. It's also money you're spending. Even if he has condoms you should be worrying if they're old, tampered with, is he even putting it on correctly, or is he gonna stealth you? Plan B is an easy $50 you'll have to shell out if you're worried afterwards and stores close early now. Plus it can have intense side effects. Oh, and if you do get pregnant it's even harder to get an abortion in some states. Look at Texas for example.
Abstinence takes back my power until a man can step up and prove to be worth all these considerations.
Amen.
Never got a UTI from my vibrator. But I did when I slept with my ex. 10 minutes of medicore sex and I spent my weekend driving around to find a walk in clinic to get meds. He sat at home.
Men get the benefits from sex, we assume all the risk.
In the animal kingdom, males have to fight, build nests and dance to get access to a mate. Only human males believe they're owed sex for nothing.
Best thing I did was take myself off the market. I've been celibate for almost 4 years and I don't care if I ever have sex again. I'm not rewarding men with my body. 99% of them don't deserve me or any other woman.
When I first found the FDS community, one of the things that initially drew me to it was that it was the one place where I was not being looked down on for wanting commitment before sex, and to have been dating for a few months.
My response to a man telling me he needs to determine “sexual compatibility” asap (within the first few dates) is that I should then be able to determine “financial compatibility” asap as well. So show me your bank statements and I’ll need to run a credit report on you so I will need that info as well. Wouldn’t want to”waste time” if we’re not compatible, right?
Wonderful post and, in a surprising way, it is relatable for someone like me who has never had sex. In a way, it validates my decision to remain alone and a virgin rather than settle and put up with subpar treatment. When men are not the center of your life (and they never were for me since I haven't been in a relationship), you cultivate a sense of self and are able to know who you are. I wish more women would take this path. Men should never have easy access to us. The risk to our health and bodies is too great.
It's a sad reality. To a man, a woman's value is only in sex and her sex appeal. They don't care how intelligent or skilled you are or what's your personality, if you don't have sex with them, you're automatically less valuable as a dog. Fucking scrotes and their sex addict brains, I hate them so much.
Liberal feminism teaches that the power of pussy is how often you fork and how a woman can fork like a male casually , indiscriminately and without any feelings. But in reality, the power of pussy is in the restriction of access to it. Look at the story of King Henry the 8th, and how he completely overturned Britain and broke from the Catholic church and created the Protestant religion just because Ann Bolyen wouldn't fork him. This is the true power of Pussy. Not how much you can give it away without having any attachments or feelings. This is why I believe liberal femininsm was created by men to benefit men.
I love this post. I’ve only had sex with my ex and I’ve been celibate since we separated a year and a half ago and sometimes I crave that intimacy with someone but then I remember how bad men are at sex and how few men use condoms. 🤢
>Abstinence takes back my power until a man can step up and prove to be worth all these considerations.
i honestly think no man can do that. that's why i'll be happily single and celibate for the rest of my life. men are NOT worth all the risks they pose. they are wlaking hazards to women.
Sex is the stupidest thing I've ever done. It served to make me like the man more, it made him like me less, it exposed me to diseases and pregnancy, broke my heart when I realized he didnt love me, lowered my value, and it always was a net loss for me. I see no point in having sex with any man who isn't my husband and that husband should be treating me like a queen. Otherwise, it's a no.