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Hi FDS!
I think I may have picked another losers but as a fearful avoidant I need some insight from a third party.
I’ve been seeing this guy about a month. He’s a hard worker and has paid for most dates except I paid for movie tickets once. We both deleted the apps and I thought things were going really well. Until…he started texting me questions one day. I thought okay no big deal but in between the questions he basically told me he wasn’t sure I was even into him at all (!!!) and felt I was so much more mature than other people he has dated.
he wasn’t sure of my intentions when it came to marriage and family.
I was blindsided by his doubts because I thought we were in the same page.
I asked for a phone call and he told me over the phone that he was excited to see what the future held for us but that he would “proceed with caution” with me. I was like…what does that mean??
I asked for space because I’m confused. We’ve met up once since then, but I decided I don’t want to sleep with someone who is so uncertain about me (we’ve already had sex, I just don’t want to continue anymore)
Should I see how things go for another few weeks?
It means he wants to have sex with someone else now but wants to keep you on the back burner in case that doesn't work out. Men who actually like you do not have doubts.
What does the label of fearful avoidant that you've given yourself have to do with anything? You still really need to work on trusting your own instincts no matter what label or issue the internet has convinced you you have.
Go with your gut, always. Block, delete, ignore.
He probably got bored of you and wants to cheat and made it sound like you were the one losing interest instead.
No wonder you're confused because that IS some insanely confusing mumbo jumbo, geez 💀He probably did it on purpose. Anway, rule of thumb: whenever you feel confused it means it's time to next the guy. If a man really likes you you will feel no confusion whatsoever. You will feel secure. This guy is just BS.
He's full of shit--he already knows you're marriage/family minded because men assume women on dating apps are desperate. He just wants you to bend over backwards for him so he can exploit you until he finds someone he's more interested in.
You don't have to prove anything to any guy. The goal in dating for women is actually to narrow down the potential suitors because most of them waste our time.
THEY need to be seeking YOUR approval, not the other way around.