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I’ve met three women in the last couple of months that I became friendly with through meeting at different events I went to. One I met last night.
We got talking and as usual, we asked each other what we do for work. I work in marketing and immediately they said that they were working on their own businesses and needed help with their marketing strategy. They became very keen for us to swap numbers and meet up so I could walk them through what marketing techniques they needed.
Now firstly, I freelance on the side for a fee so this would actually be a paid service if I were to help them but they’re all thinking that it’ll be free and because I was friendly, they’ve just assumed that I will help them and secondly, while they were the ones to suggest hanging out, they were only very keen to do so once they learnt what my job was and the potential help I could give them.
I was looking forward to learning about them as they all seemed high value but they’re only keen for us to meet up because of the help I can offer them. I’m not sure how to let them know that I could suggest some things to help them but that I actually charge for the the type of help they’re looking for which they’re looking get for free and secondly, I only wanted to catch up in a friendly way, not meet for a business meeting or anything work-related. One of them read my message and didn’t reply when she asked when we could meet up and I told her next week could would. This happened a week ago and I wonder if she wanted my help ASAP and my pushing it to next week was not convenient for her.
What do you think ladies? Please give me your advice on what I can do to avoid being in a situation where people are only keen to meet up so that I can help them when I wanted to meet up to chat and see whether we have things in common or not/could potentially become friends.
Thank you 🩷
My advice would be to respond off the bat with some level of enthusiasm to say “Oh sure! I’m happy to help with that. My rates are x, and my availability is x. When do you want to get started?”
That way, you get the business side out of the way. It could be that they want to be friends but they’re prioritizing their work first. Friendship could be possible after the project (but only if they pay you your full rate and don’t even ask about discounts, which is the respectful thing to do).
However, if they’re trying to use you off the bat and make you work for free or for cheap, that says a lot about their character, and probably isn’t someone you’d want to be friends with anyway.
Something similar happened to me recently. I do personal training, and was talking to a woman who seemed friendly, and mentioned she would love some help with an old injury. We did swap numbers, and she asked when I would be available.
I told her off the bat I’m happy to help her, and told her my availability and hourly rate.
Her response she was actually “Oh thanks, but I’m also ok just planning a girl’s day and we can get coffee and hang out by the pool at my apartment 😊”
So, it turned out to be a girl’s date after all. I don’t know if she was put off by my prices, or she didn’t mean to try and book me out in the first place—but in any case, we have started a friendship.
This might be similar towards your situation, but I’m a private tutor (side gig), and I constantly get parents asking me if could stay for “an extra 10-15 minutes”, or that “they’re going to be a little late”, what usually happens is that I tell them about my late/overtime fees, or I just straight up ask them if they want to extend classes.
I had a parent ask me if I could stay 2 hours behind while they run errands. Mind you, I charge $50/hour per lesson and kid. It was fucking disgusting. I told her that it would be an extra $200 and extra money for every minute she was late. She ended up cancelling classes that day and She eventually stopped booking me for lessons with her twins, but idc, bc I don’t want to be taken advantage of, since I knew that she’d makes this a regular habit.
My only fear with mixing business with leisure is that it never ends. It’s fine if it’s a one time thing, but people will push your boundaries unless you draw a line in the sand.
If you met a man and you immediately knew that he wanted sex, just like you know these women want free marketing support from you, would you feel as conflicted?
I would advise against closing the door completely. As a freelancer, every person you encounter could potentially become a client or lead you to one.
If someone asks for advice on a certain topic, you can politely explain that you are unable to offer guidance without a contract in place. It's important to protect yourself as a business owner. You could suggest referring them to a specific book, website, or resource that may be able to assist them instead.