WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
On False Equivalence: How "equality" is being used against us
With the modern era and the conversations on gender equality or even neutrality, people forget the one simple truth; men and women are different.
We have different needs and capabilities and yet we're arguing for another system of "equality" that ignores that difference.
It asks women to change to match the patriarchy, instead of dismantling the patriarchy completely. It's another trap, the trap of equality.
We can look at how women entered the workforce as an example.
Sure we broke that specific glass ceiling, but we were never allowed to step away from the so called kitchen, and neither does the culture allow for it.
You're cold and frigid if you choose your career, but you're also soft, naïve and borderline useless if you choose to be a SAHM.
No you have to be all these things-all of them at once- to even get a grain of respect. But that respect isn't real.
Because it's based on the fact that you're being viewed as lesser, that your position in society is lower and that respect is something you have to earn, from the same system and people that view you as a second class citizen.
In this way, women's fight for "equality" has been transformed into a another facet of systematic patriarchy.
Some of the false equivalencies I see women make are between finances, personal contributions and morality.
They argue that 50/50 is equal and fair and yet they don't take into account that they are already in a lower position of power, that they are not actually on equal ground to reap the rewards of the equal game.
They are in-fact ceding ground that they don't have.
Women make less and contribute more. You will have to take care of the home, the man and your own career and yet still you'll be contributing 50% financially. And usually you will contribute more than that as is often the case.
This is not equality, this is just regular patriarchy, except now you are fulfilling both the gender stereotypes, to your own personal detriment.
Because if that is the sort of relationship you have, then you do not have a man who sees you as an equal, or even has much respect for you at all.
That brings me to my point on morality.
Men and women are different, we are different physically, mentally and emotionally.
Men do not see the world like you do, they do not respect or appreciate your contributions because they feel they are entitled to it.
They've lived an entire life without the hardship of misogyny and sex based hatred women go through.
The world has bent to their favour instead of been an unmovable force meant to keep them small, like ours has.
Most if not all women have been victims of violence and sex based violence, that is a fact.
What people don't acknowledge is the implication of this, that most if not all men are the ones committing these acts; they're the abusers, the murderers and the rapists.
The number of which is not a small percentage, no it is actually rather high. So high that it is the norm, and not the exception.
And how are you supposed to know who the few good men are?
When the entirety of the them have hurt someone in one way or another(often through sexual violence), when they all benefit from the sex based hatred and oppression women suffer under?
You vet, and you vet in any way you know how.
This means looking through their phone, snooping, setting up tests etc. You do whatever you have to, and it does not make you just as bad.
You know why? Because you are doing this to protect yourself.
If a man was snooping or going through your phone it is with intent to harm. For you it's just to make sure you won't end up murdered.
You are not the same as him, you cannot afford the benefit of the doubt. For you it's life and death, for you it's being with a man who; beats you, rapes you, abuses you, or even all those things at once.
How many stories have we heard of men going through a woman's phone and adding tracking software or other things? Of putting hazardous things in her food, tampering with her medication?
You cannot judge women on the same morality you judge men, because women exist in a world where we are the prey, and men are the predators.
To judge us the same is just another way you give into the patriarchy, and misogyny that keeps us small.
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