Nonchalant Attitude towards men

Hi Ladies,

I'm growing more and more indifferent towards men these days. I grew up in a family with a deadbeat dad who didn't pay a dollar child support and fled the country to escape making payments, and a toxic sociopath mother who also abandoned me at some distant relatives doorstep when I was 3 years old to go party with hoodrats and drug addicts. Both my female siblings turned out to be narcissists and psychopaths and both strangled me and tried to murder me multiple times in the house growing up, and one event spit in my face and spit on any artwork I ever created. It left me in a despondent state and now apart from like one or two people I'm very indifferent and numb towards people in general and don't get much joy out of social interaction. I definitely don't prioritize men or their feelings, since I know if they heard of my background they'd just use any of those traumas as ammunition to try and destroy or sabotage my life. It kind of brings a sense of hopelessness of ever finding a man that won't use my severely f*cked up childhood and PTSD, lack of family and friends support against me to destroy just for the fun of it because he can and because he knows I like him. The worst part is it feels like I can only relate to men who've been through some kind of trauma in their childhood but 99% of the time they end up being either covert narcissists, sociopaths, or just a manipulator who wants all the sympathy for his traumas but never acknowledges female pain or trauma so its like a one sided support where I'm supporting his trauma healinf and he's not there for mine. Dealing with CPTSD puts me in the 'damaged' category according to men, and of course they blame us women for not choosing better instead of holding the abusive trash men accountable for their abuse of women. What are your thoughts?