Hi,
I took a break from online dating and decided to try it out again. The men in my area and generally men from my country are just not really for me so I decided to see if I could find people who I click with and I've been texting this guy who seems very ambitious and well-read. He lives overseas. It's the first time in a long time where I'm talking to someone who goes beyond smalltalk and we really get along! So everything seemed pretty good at the beginning. He asks me questions, texts daily and puts in a lot of effort.
The fact that he lives overseas isn't much of a problem for me BUT he told me he used to be together with his ex for almost 9 years and they broke up cause apparently she cheated on him.
He seems financially well off but he owns a property with his ex and she lives in his apartment, While he lives with his dad that he's looking after in another house.
I thought they broke up and that's it but she's still in the picture.
So that already made me feel so disappointed to be honest.
I've never traveled outside of Europe but traveling overseas to visit him (hypothetically) would cost quite a bit. He said IF I visited him, he would cover all the costs (the stay, not the flight) but he would also be happy to go 50/50. And he earns more than me, he owns property and talked how much savings he has which is a lot more than I have.
I wore the rose-colored classes and yes I'm quite naïve because I'm inexperienced, but I asked myself, shouldn't a man visit the woman first? I understand that everything has gotten expensive but I don't think it's fair that he already would like to go 50/50, he said he handles all of his relationships like this, but this entire situation doesn't sit right with me.
I just had to get this off my chest and would like to hear your opinions. I really don't mind long-distance but this already is starting off so weird.
He said he wants to start a business soon and would love if his partner would help him with it. But what about my goals, dreams and aspirations? i'm happy with working in corporate since it makes me feel secure.
How would you describe this type of man? Is he opportunistic or something or is he sensing I'm naïve and inexperienced? I have no problems covering some costs, for example if he visited me first and we got along and then it would be my turn travel, I wouldn't mind paying for my flight and contribute to costs like gas money if we went on trips. But if I had to pay more more stuff? I don't know...
Another thing that didn't sit right with me is the way he talks about other women. He said about his ex that she was a girly girl and she didn't like the music he was listening to and the fact he likes to play video games. I love gaming and we listen to the same music. I said that it's completely fine that she has her own hobbies and interests. I don't like talking down on other women.
He then mentioned his brother whose ex was materialistic and I said there's nothing wrong with enjoying the finer things in life.
Everything started off so great but now I don't want to talk to him anymore. I was crying when he read his ex is still in the picture, because I felt like whenever I like someone, there is always someone else around and I'm wondering if dating and love is even for me. Maybe I am meant to be alone, I really don't know why I keep attracting people like this.
I really wouldn't mind a long-distance relationship and moving abroad in the future, I'm not broke so I could travel but isn't the man supposed to provide? Or at least he could visit me first and book himself a room.
What are your thoughts?
Just broke up a LDR relationship recently. I realize that i didnt follow alot of FDS rules when I dated him so now I am back here re reading. But anyways, he went to my country and didn't ask for any 50/50. We flew to an island tourist spot and he paid for my accomodation and flight. If it doesnt sit right with you, i suggest follow your gut!