There’s a man on Twitter that followed me for a few months, and at some point, he started leaving flirty replies on my posts, then he sent me a cringingly generic dm about sliding into my dms. I ignored it. I wasn’t initially interested; I’m skeptical about meeting potential partners on Twitter, mostly because long-distance romance has never really worked out for me (or my mental health) and because I have this theory that most men on Twitter mass follow women they’re attracted to and flirt at them in their replies, slide into their dms, and seek attention with no real interest in developing healthy relationships—I think he may be one of those men, but I’m not completely sure.
We shared some interests, and he actually started messaging me things of substance, saying he felt something between us, so I brushed off his incessant liking/replies to pics/lonely man engagement farming from swrs, beautiful yet unavailable influencers, etc.
I was interested. In my mind, I thought: well, maybe he’s doing this because he’s single, and if he’s serious about someone he’s interested in, he’ll stop (I wasn’t completely wrong about this—more on that later.)
However, while interacting with me, he didn’t stop, and I got tired of seeing OF CTAs on my TL, so I unfollowed/muted him. He was persistent about reaching out to me, so I engaged here and there, but I got the feeling he was looking for a placeholder woman, and I ignored some of his messages. I wasn’t sure about him at all, this may have come off as inconsistency on his end, but he wasn’t exactly offering anything material and how could I open up to him when he was aggressively flirting with so many other women?
Occasionally he’d tweet about his ex gf of a considerable number of years, how she got married, how all of his exes were getting married, how “everyone” is lonely, some intimacy issues, not thinking he needs to work on loving himself before meeting someone, and how he’s not seeking a significant other/marriage or “kids and a house with a Pickett fence” but he still wants love? So many mixed signals.
Insert, a new influencer that he quickly became obsessed with—she’s nearly a decade younger than him and open about having severe mental illness/her poor financial state; he seemed especially interested in the fact that she was open about hallucinating and being transient/houseless (not sure if this matters or adds context but I’m also an influencer of status but stable on the health, career, and financial front.)
Suddenly the likes and replies to swrs etc., stopped, except his interactions with me, for whatever reason. It was so confusing. For added context, he’s a working-class artist, an average to cute looking man with a receding hairline, and openly communist/leftist, says he’s not interested in the acquisition of land or goods but also wants to get rich and (assuming by his likes) garner the attention of beautiful/interesting women; (although he did hit on some less attractive but popular transwomen who tweet negatively about female women.)
He put her on a pedestal and retweeted how he “loved” [x] about her; even though she seemingly wasn’t romantically interested, she ignored his flirting but would reply to anything of substance the same way she replied to other followers. He sent her poetry publicly; he sent me poetry privately; I ignored it because WTF was he doing?! I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening, but it was making me feel like crap, so frustrating I cried. Why did he change his likes/replies after discovering her online presence but not mine? While simultaneously still seeking my attention?
In the end, I blocked him, it was messing with my head, and I needed to get away from it. Admittedly, I checked his page afterward because I wanted to get a better idea of what was going on—after she ignored his advances, he was back to liking/replying to OF engagement farming posts (plus some new women) but still seeking her attention.
How would you classify this man? What is his deal? I’ve dealt with men like this before, and while I had the foresight to block this one, the way they behave confuses me, and I can get easily caught up in how they interact with me. Is it manipulation? Is he trying to get me to compete with these women? Is not really interested in me at all?
Is it wrong of me to expect a man who is expressing targeted romantic interest in me to clean up his likes and replies a little? Not stopping interaction with or dating other women altogether (because I’m playing the field too) but maybe less flirting under seminudes?
I need help unpacking this so I can identify what this is and know how to deal with it in the future; thanks for your replies!