And just to be clear, men and gay women don't do this to me - it's almost entirely straight men.
I am maybe 15 pounds overweight. I have a naturally big butt and huge boobs, so really, I'm not VERY overweight in the sense that I need to lose weight.
But like, anorexic, straight up underweight men call me fat. I've been called a fat b**** by a few men (after they either pumped and dumped me or tried to), and they were noticeably unhealthily underweight.
But then, on the other hand, I've been called a "skinny bitch" by actual obese men.
Men don't insult me based on ME - Most of them aren't invited to know the real me.
They insult me based on them. And like, half the time I'm wondering if I should eat more, and the other half I wonder if I should diet.
This isn't like, a rare occurrence either. Males cannot stfu about my very normal, healthy, slightly overweight body - even when they're objectively unhealthy.
Men call you fat because they think it's the biggest burn in the book. If they think you'd be more upset by being called ugly or stupid they would go there instead.. They used to call me a cat lady until I told too many of them that their company can't even come close to rivaling a cat and they must have caught on as a collective that it's really just a burn on them lol. Every other day it was cat lady, cat lady.. so tedious. Most men have no personality except entitled and obnoxious.
Men are not really in any position to call any women ugly. Men are so ugly that I don't know how any man can even be gay.
It is a manipulative tactic called negging. Men will neg, or purposely put down women they seem attractive, to purposely lower their self esteem so they can reach them. If you were hungry, and you saw an apple high on a tree, and you wanted that apple, what would you need to do to get that apple?? You would need to throwing something at it to make it fall down in order to reach it. They do the same to women they deem out of their reach. They cut down your self worth to the point that you will give an otherwise undeserving male, access to you. Do not let these men actually affect your self worth. You say it is actually starting to give you body dysmorphia. Stop your mind from going there. The more beautiful you are, the more negging you will experience.
Just adding to what other commenters have said, commenting about women's body is male tactic to take women down a peg or two. The worse women feel about themselves, the easier target they are for LVMs and the easier to trap those women in abusive relationships.
Sometimes it's also their way to cope for being rejected or for feeling not good enough. Like when a man trying to make a move and rejected, he then said "Well, you're an ugly fat [misogynistic slur] anyway!" It's not about the woman, it's all about making himself feel better.
Anyway, fuck men and their opinion. Sneer at them and leave.
Idk if it helps, but asshole men hardly ever believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. They just want to convince YOU. None of the men calling you undesirable would ever turn you down for sex because there is no such thing in this world as an unfuckable woman.
It's important to remember that whenever men go out of their way to give women grief over being too fat, too old, too ugly, too masculine etc. It usually has less to do with genuine disgust and more to do with signaling homosociality by garnering the approval of other men for their adherence to the Bro Code
You're not too fat. In fact, you probably look like fertility goddess. The reality of what men desire on biological level and what is pushed as beaty standard are two different things.
I was called fat when I was in fact in very healthy BMI of 22, had big boobs, wide hips, relatively big bum. I had long hair and a lot. But I was called fat and a lot of people, including my own family, made me feel bad for having big boobs, like it was a crime. I felt fat and extremely conscious about my body but I knew a lot of men drooled over me exactly because I looked like fertility goddess.
What I am trying to say - your looks is so rare these days that men literally know that you can have any man you want. Their only strategy is to call you fat, namely neg you into believing you're worthless so you will settle for less.
Look, I am 40, I still have big boobs, only now I learned to accentuate it. I know what effects it has on men and I use it to my advantage. It's my right as a woman to use my looks to my advantage and extract maximum from any man I want.