And if he refuses to assume that responsibility, he gets blocked and deleted.
There was a recent post by an FDSer who canceled on a date because the man did not offer to pick her up or call her an Uber. I commended the OP for canceling. She dodged a bullet.
Bottom line:
If a man asks you on a date and does not automatically (i.e., without being prompted) offer, in some way, to transport you to and from the date, you should block and delete. This man does not give a shit about you. He cares only about his pee pee. At best, you're dealing with a clueless, inconsiderate man-child. At worst, you're dealing with a malignant predator who is hellbent on treating women like free prostitutes.
A man who is interested in dating you seriously can offer transportation by:
picking you up at your house (though this has become increasingly unpopular nowadays in some locations, for good reason);
calling you a cab; or, ideally
giving you enough money to pay for cabs to and from the date BEFORE you start preparing for the date.
You don't have to accept these offers, but it's important that he offers.
It's important that he demonstrates consideration for your time, effort, and safety by providing you safe, comfortable transportation to and from the date that HE asked you out on.
Some of you have accused me of giving off "sex worker vibes" or being somewhat of a gold digger in previous posts for expecting a man to forward cash before a date. Some of you have insinuated that I am too broke to go on dates without knowing a thing about my finances. Those of you who made these accusations can fuck right off with your pickme mindset. You all sound like broke men who standard shame women for expecting anything from men.
I don't want to get into the car of another man, though.
I feel men are not going to do this at all, at least not in the US. I don't even bother with dating apps anymore.
I don't recommend any woman get inside a stranger's car unless you already know this guy from a group of friends who are women, and they have interacted with him, but even then, I feel it's risky.
Even riding an Uber has made me uncomfortable at times, and not even in a sexual way, more like the Uber drive was rude or weird. I felt they could harm me if they wanted to.
Hell no. No man will know where I live, until I feel comfortable enough to invite him over. So no, no uber/taxi and paying my transport.
It has nothing to do with status but everything to do with safety.
Standard should be that first 5-10 dates are in public places, until you're comfortable enough with each other. None can pretend that long so you weed out the guys who are only after sex/short term.
Standard should be that you know that man in a platonic way for some time and you have well established friendship before you move into dating. He should make it known to you and have patience to gradually get to know you.
Maybe I am old fashioned but I seriously don't imagine going on dates with people I have never met and they are paying my transportation or even picking me up.
Well phrased!
It's not really about the money itself or not being able to pay for transportation yourself.
It's about him showing consideration and trying to make getting to the date and back home as comfortable and safe as possible for you and proving that he put some thought into that instead of just assuming you materialise out of nowhere in the restaurant and then beam back home. To me it's similar to choosing a venue that is close to you and easy and safe for you to reach instead of something that is more convenient for him.
Although I understand your sentiment, in this modern day and age, giving a stranger, and a male stranger your home address is extremely risky. And getting into a strange man's car is even riskier. You are making yourself vulnerable to being kidnapped, stalked, harassed, Also, you should never give a stranger male your real number. This entire post is a NO for me. I will never give a new male my address, my real phone number or get into his car.. EVER. This is stupid and dangerous.
i do a little test which implies i can’t get there or my car is acting up, if he doesn’t at least OFFER to pick me up or send for an uber then i know he’s cheap and inconsiderate. i normally want to get there on my own though for safety reasons.
Andrew Tate recommends men organise transportation for 'girls' on dates. It gives prostitution vibes because it's a few steps away from it. Not standard shaming here - you do you - but most women do not expect this, and this doesn't make them pickmes.
A lot of your advice above is very harmful to women and can put them in situations where they can get harassed or hurt.
First, no women should give her address to any man she is just met or even get into the car with a stranger.
There is public transportation and she can Uber herself so she can share her ride with her friends or family for emergencies or even get her friend to drop her off and pick her up if she doesn’t drive.
Also, why would I take money from a stranger? What am I? An escort? Where is the self respect here?
Thanks, sis!
To the people assuming your financial status, ew. The thing is, the better a woman's financial status, the more pathetic it seems when a man isn't willing to offer to pay! I'm calling myself uber blacks from now on.
DO NOT GET INTO A CAR WITH A STRANGE MAN
DO NOT GIVE YOUR ADDRESS TO A STRANGE MAN
Those are like very basic rules about safety! If I remember correctly they are also in the handbook. And why on earth would I take money from the guy I've just met?? It's just like @FDSQueen said, it's giving escort vibes. What ever happened to being an independent woman? Seriously, what on earth is going on in here?!
It's nice if he does that. The paying for cabs and such.
This should be higher. Why is the initial post not even removed? Since when FDS is recommending turning yourself into sex worker?