This valentines day I discovered the guy I was interested in has a girlfriend… naturally I was disappointed, but based on his type I doubt we’d have been compatible. I discussed it with my friend and we got into a fight.
His gf is the opposite of me. I would describe my style as simple, yet elegant. I like timeless pieces and high quality things. Also don’t have any tattoos or piercings.
His gf has alternative taste. She wears bright colours, has multicoloured hair and several piercings (multiple ear piercings, labret, and septum ring). Also does stuff like glues crystals to her face and wears e-girl style chokers. To give a visual she looks similar to the rapper Doechii.
I told my friend that based on her appearance he definitely prefers someone “wilder” than me, and I think this triggered her because she has a more similar style + BPD and saw it as an insult.
She called me judgemental, and said I should “keep a more open mind”. I get the whole idea of not judging a book by its cover, but IMO you can infer certain traits by looking at a person’s appearance. Most people don’t glue crystals to their face or wear sexually provocative chokers out in public, so I don’t believe it’s wrong to say that’s “wild”. Personally I think her style is immature and attention seeking, I would not date the male equivalent so I also see that as a red flag for my crush.
Opinions?
I don't think calling someone's fashion sense "wild" is really that big a deal. Some people dress more outlandish, some people dress more conservative. And you can judge people for whatever reason you want. People don't come with their life story tattooed on their face; sometimes physical appearance is all you have to go by.