I'm pretty sure I don't want children at all, I don't have my career sorted and just moved to another country, but after getting out of a 4 year relationship I was in from 22-26 I should make dating a priority because "you can tell I've aged". Literally been receiving unprovoked unsolicited digs at my age ever since I hit my late 20's. I want to enjoy life and be able to support myself - that's all I care about. Dating - just to be mistreated again? not my priority. I just think it's wild to be age shamed even from people way older than I am.
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Dipped my toes back in and…I missed nothing. Attaining financial stability is my primary goal.
Anyone who negs you about “visible aging” in your 20s is no friend! I would hope that shit did not come from family either or else a low- or no-contact reckoning is recommended. I’d say any women who comment on aging are exerting a straw man argument because you are leveling up and they aren’t. You are out as childfree (it’s fantastic, I’m 54, was an early articulator from single digits, and love being post-menopausal). You’ve moved countries which is huge. You’re career focused and you have removed yourself from a long relationship. What do all of these facts have in common? You’re centering yourself, your needs and wants, and prioritizing your health, wealth, and wellbeing, NOT that of a man, and people in your life are pissed off so you are of course on the right path! Leave the naysayers in the dust and keep right on leveling up. If and when the right guy comes along, it’ll be worth it because you don’t settle. You have massive queen energy so keep it up!
Well, dating these modern day madmen certainly won’t help you in the aging department. If aging is what you’re worried about, stay away from men and spend your time and money at the gym, good food, and on treatments for your skin. LOL. I looked far better after my divorce at age 30 then I did in my 20s with the lodestone husband around my neck. And in my late 40s, I look better than the women my age who are married with kids. I don’t have a man around stealing my energy and making me cry. Crying makes women look old and haggard, so if you cannot find a man who doesn’t make you cry, stay single. You’ll be far better off.
kids in their teens will think that 20 is “old“ and “the end of your life “. What of it? You know that 20 is still pretty much childhood. This “friend “ of yours is projecting her own insecurities on you to denigrate you and feel better about herself. Anything under 30 is very, very young still. Even under 40 nowadays - we look good if not better than in our twenties because of the lifestyle we can afford, also no more adolescent skin concerns etc., and career-wise youre moving up, what’s not to like? I have a massive pickme “friend” who’s just turned 41, is freaking out that she’s “nearing 50”, doing nothing with her life other than constantly seeking validation of various fuckboys and ruining her 3 kids‘ lives, all the while telling me that like her, I need to start spending all my money on laser treatments for hands and neck “because that’s what men look at first”. Ugh. She’s married to an unfortunate HVM. The only reason I can’t block her is because I’m her son‘s godmother, and he’s approaching adulthood, thinking of going into the same field as me. I feel responsible for him, plus he’s always been his mother’s inappropriate confidant. If I was in your shoes without any additional responsibilities, I’d block her fast.
I hate the way ageing is used against women. We will all age. I'll take ageing over the alternative. This world has made getting older a death knell for women. Even women in their 20s are terrified of it because they're being taught to place their worth in men's hands. I wish we lived in a world where women were taught to love themselves and embrace ageing because of the wisdom it brings. Ancient, pre-patriarchal cultures revered older women (the Crone) due to the knowledge they had acquired and that they could hand down to the younger generations. These wise women were important figures in their communities. Fun fact, "hag" originally meant "holy woman." None of us will stay 20 forever. It's okay to age, and it should not be used as an insult against any woman.
Visible aging in the twenties = you look like a woman, not a child.
Sheesh. I’m 42 and I’ve never looked better. Some women can be super toxic, and they’ll try to police your looks and choices, as if you’ve asked for their insights. I never take advice from ANYONE that’s clearly failed in the area they are trying to give advice in. One time I was asked my opinion on relationships and I had been in a 15 year one and had some insights. I was attacked for currently being single and told my opinion didn’t matter. I experienced trash ladies….. but if y’all want to learn from a dodo who’s still in toxicity by all means. I’ll be in Italy , without trash, living my life.
People who age or single shame have got nothing better to do with their time. So I usually respond by asking: 'how's married life?' And they're utterly shocked and tongue tied. Because they're fed up with their other half, too afraid to be single and envious of those who have freedom to do as they please.
What annoys me about this age shaming thing is people internalise it too and then do stuff to their face like supermodel Linda Evangelista who ended up having botched surgery and now hugely regrets absorbing the patriarchal message to look her younger self because looks are all that matters and especially when famous.
If a woman has more than youthful looks like character, intelligence and interests they will feel more at ease in the aging process than those without. And a guy who has the above will want a women his age because he wants to connect on all levels not just sexually.
My body is more womanly at 30, and I feel in tune with it and also more protective of my body meaning that a guy has to connect with me all on levels to touch me.
Late 20s is still young, omg. I do feel you though, people do get meaner and meaner the older you get as a woman, because let's be for real, getting older is a privilege that should only be enjoyed by the so called ~superior sex~, which are men. No ma'am. There's a reason why women tend to live the longest, and why we enjoy more robust health than men do. They can cope harder.
Life Is too short to feel this way..slowly cut communication and if this topic brings up again no chances given blocked for eternity .
They're not friends. It seems you're aware and are removing them from your life--good for you! Keep going! You are on the queen path. Don't let them cause you to drop your crown. It's not about being old, it's about what your life will be at "x" age.
People talk about others aging like it doesn't effect them.
Iam have not even turned 30 yet and I get comments from scrotes " oh wow how come you single and not married with kids " I cut them off the moment they open their mouth and speak to me like that. Doest matter it's my pick Me 23 year old cousin or 10 year long friend or new collegue .
I think if you even wanted to date, there is no shortage of scrotes, lvm in this world at any stage in life. Perhaps extremely rare chance of finding a HVM worth investing time in. I'm 29 and the only time constraint thing I'm ever worried about is how I'm spending my aging time vs how much money I'm making.