I was in a friend group at uni with this guy I later got together with, and another girl who I was/am very close with.
My ex started off all sweet and caring, and got to me when I was in a bad place. I felt like, wow, things are gonna be so great with this guy. A few months later, I'd dropped to the bottom of his priority list. We were long distance but during lockdown he came back to the country and I only saw him for one week the whole year. Every time I tried to express my feelings to him he would get mad and tell me that I was always complaining and making him feel bad, or I didn't understand that he needed to focus on work or how he needed to see his parents a lot. He started giving me the silent treatment, one time for ten days. When I asked him if he meant to break up with me, he got mad at me and said I could have reached out.
Okay, well as you can see from my explanations, I still worry that I was in the wrong. That maybe he was a hard-working guy who loved his family and I pushed him away. That was the kind of way he made me feel when I tried to communicate with him.
Well, when I broke up with this guy 2 years ago, my best friend was like "oh maybe you can get back together later." She made it clear she was still going to be chill with him, and said "He didn't do anything to ME." I got upset and she messaged me later saying she didn't want me to think she didn't have my back, but I always remembered her instinctive response.
Anyway, a bunch of stuff happened over the past two years involving me getting away from my abusive family. I've been safe now for over six months and I think back to what she said. She never let me vent about him and always played both sides, although one time she said what he did was "horrible". I started running again, which I used to love, and I noticed she was still liking all his runs. (I hadn't been on to unfollow him).
The resentment in me just grew and I eventually couldn't bring myself to message her. She obviously became confused and messaged me a bunch of times over the last couple months. I want to explain to her and see if she'll get it, but at the same time, I'm cringing that she chose to stay neutral (at least) with him. I just sent her a message saying I will explain and she was like "I will try to understand", but is it even worth it?
We are mid twenties so I don't know. She has helped me and supported me before and we used to get on well. But this has caused so much doubt and resentment for me.