This one is hard to inquire about without a strong reaction, however, from what my group of friends who have been pregnant and had abortions, I feel like this is a big deal and a very pervasive problem that people don't have a place or way to talk about. Abortion is always discussed as being a win for women's rights and empowering to women, however from my group of friends that I have been close enough for them to share their private struggles with, out of the say 4 women who have shared about their abortions with me, 3 of them, so 75% were basically bullied or otherwise pressured ruthlessly by the men who impregnated them to get the abortions. Please know that I am communicating this as I was told it happened, with my friends 75% of them were treated like shit when they became pregnant. 2 of them were against having the abortions but were essentially viscously emotionally abused by the men who made it clear that they had only been used for sex, as the men told them they wanted nothing to do with them and for the first time learned how worthless these men who pretended to like them thought they were. It was clear from the 3 of the 4 women I knew that the men felt absolutely entitled to a) sex b) not using a condom c) my friends getting abortions if pregnancy happened. There was clearly ZERO support of women or responsibility from the men, the men in these cases clearly felt abortion was about THIER right to use women's body disposable without consequence, in fact they feel entitled not to wear condoms. It seems to have twisted things to a place where a woman choosing to have her baby is seen as "trapping" the man and violating HIS rights. I have felt a strong undercurrent that the way men think about abortion is that it verifies their right, and "need" for sex as primary, and women's bodies must be conveniently served up on a platter. Because it is a woman's choice he escapes any consideration, responsibility or accountability and he can bully her into an abortion and nobody will ever say anything to him because she will not be able to turn to the pro-life or pro-choice groups for support. She will simply have to stay silent and suffer alone while the man can present himself as a champion of women's rights. The 1 of the 4 friends I referred to was firmly wanting abortions each time she became pregnant, but if I used my circle as a sample group the majority experienced abuse from the men who impregnated them and had the abortion feeling it was their only option. My closest friend said that it was made clear to her she would be "hated forever" and the first thing the man said was "you are getting an abortion, I am not having a baby". I feel like this abusive from men is pervasive and never gets talked about. To be clear the 3 of 4 who experienced this felt absolutely dehumanized and were deeply hurt, traumatized and depressed by being treated this way when they told the men they were pregnant. It was a serious traumatic event for them. The question is, in your experience, and with your friends, is this a pervasive issue that men are not being called out for?
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See, this is why it's called "pro-choice", not pro-abortion. The flip-side of force-birthers not being allowed to force a woman into carrying a pregnancy that she doesn't want, is that other parties cannot force a woman to get an abortion she doesn't want. It has to be completely her choice *no uterus, no opinion* Alot of people enjoy living in the misconception that pro-choice = pro-abortion, therefore it's acceptable to force woman into the opposite direction. I feel like men change or alter the definition of things depending on what they want.
Oh, that's interesting. I've had the exact opposite experience. I've been pregnant a few times before (all ended in miscarriage except the last one, I recently and miraculously delivered a healthy baby) and each time even though each boyfriend was very pro-choice, he suddenly became super traditional and wanted to use the pregnancy as an excuse to get married and settle down. When I was trying to weigh my options, the guys would crumble at the mention of abortion. I began to think, hm, do many men actually hope his girlfriend or wife gets pregnant because they believe this is a way to stay in her life forever??? Even my current partner talks like this, he says "well, now we're stuck together forever, you can't leave me now that we have a child together" and it's like, wait, does he actually think we MUST be in a romantic relationship for the rest of our lives only because we have a kid?? I mean, I love the guy and really do hope we're together the rest of our lives, but that thought process just makes no sense to me.
What you are talking about is extremely important, thank you for sharing. Some men who support abortion do not do it for the women, they do it so that they can escape any type of consequences to them being promiscuous and careless about it. They put the onus on the woman to deal with anything that may happen. They pressure women on accepting the lack of use of contraception. Men are able to always turn around a fight for women's rights to their advantage and so that benefits them. Their end goal is domination, all the time. But as someone said, it's also on us to develop tools to get out of these men's ways as soon as possible after the first red flag. I think your friends need FDS so that they do their best to avoid being in these relationships in the first place.
It’s a woman’s choice and she should not be made to feel like she must do something based on another person’s wishes. No woman should be forced to carry a pregnancy she doesn’t want. No woman should be forced to abort a pregnancy she does want. Being pro choice is exactly that. I don’t know why you think women who want to remain pregnant wouldn’t be accepted by people who are pro choice. We believe it is entirely up to her and support whatever choice she makes for herself