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It looks like there is a prevalence of ignorance among men in regards to their own fertility. It's scientifically proven that genetically it is best a father is under 30 years. After that GENETIC sperm quality starts to decline significantly. Woman's younger age won't cancel out defects of aged sperm.
All the kids they see their old bosses having are not from their own sperm, and often were from adopted embryos.
A lot of it comes from men being selfish and not caring if they can improve the health odds for their kids. If the kid has extra health needs, they expect woman to shoulder all the responsibility of taking care of them alone, as well as her career taking a hit.
I saw a post recently: "I'm 38, I want to have children but I also want to play a field". And all I'm thinking: "Dude, your sperm expired years ago"
Why are men always comparing themselves to older successful men? Dude, your boss was already successful at your age. He already had a family to support at your age. He already paid for college and downpayment for his older kids by the time he had a late baby. Meanwhile you are looking for somebody to go halfsies on a one bedroom. Why are you not looking at old miserable men noone wants to talk to?
This exact issue i what brought me to FDS. A guy I thought of as a friend said he tells his other female friends to 'find a guy you like before 30 so you can end up having healthy kids.' It just made the hair on the back of my neck stand, esp when he went on to sympathize with Andrew Tate TAKING HIS GIRLFRIENDS' ONLYFANS MONEY, because I knew the main goal of his misogynist arugments was to take women's ower away. So so disappointed in him, but at least I know now that guys who are kind on the surface, vegan, and even from the same cultural background as me (Indian heritage and grew up in the West in a hindu fam) can be absolutely terrible .
There seems to be a lot of misinformation on both sides of this debate. There isn't some magic 'best before date' on Sperm and Eggs, after which the whole batch is uniformly bad.
Sperm and eggs are cells, just like every other part of your body. The nature of cellular reproduction is such that any time a cell replicates, the probability of genetic issues increases. That does not mean that every single cell is bad, it just means that each cell has a higher chance of being bad.
A 38 year old man probably still has some good sperm... there's just a higher percentage of bad sperm and therefore a higher percentage chance of bad sperm fertilizing the egg. Take an older woman paired with an older man, and you have a higher chance of bad sperm fertilizing a bad egg, essentially doubling your chance for either miscarriage (most commonly) or genetic defect.
The advantage men have is that they produce far more sperm than women produce eggs... so even as the probability increases, the sheer volume buffers them somewhat, especially when you consider healthy sperm are likely to outperform unhealthy sperm in terms of reaching and penetrating the egg for fertilization. If the egg is bad, it doesn't matter how many millions of healthy sperm an older man may have, the risk is still there cause there's only one egg to fertilize even if 50% of the sperm is good. That's part of why women have bared the brunt of the infertility issue; for doctors and scientists it's easier to try and influence the odds within a few thousand eggs than it is hundreds of billions of sperm over each partner's life.