A report on my dating the past month...being more ruthless...
I went on two dates with a guy I met in person at an event. He's only a few years older than me, tall, successful...marked a few boxes. First date was great...he paid for dinner. Second date he asked me to pay half AND he made sexual comments about wanting to see me in a bikini, etc. Gross. He's since sent me four texts, all of which I did not respond to. He's done.
I went on three dates with another guy I met on Hinge (it is very difficult to date where I live, so I resorted to dating apps...I have since deleted them all because not a guy on them is worth my time). First date was good...nice conversation, he paid without a fuss. Second date went the same, but I started to notice a bit of immaturity. He is the same age as me and has two kids, one 17 and one 19. During the third date, I asked more questions about his kids. Turns out he's never had a relationship with his oldest, neither of them has ever lived with him. He was vague about some of his answers about them. He was like "I've always supported them financially," as if that is enough. As a single parent, it really turns me off when a man is not involved in their kids' lives. We had a lot in common, so it was unfortunate, but I saw him for the LVM he is and have not talked to him since.
I went on a first date with a guy I also met on Hinge about a week ago. He asked me out to dinner and he said he'd do some research and find a good place. When the day came, I asked him which restaurant I should meet him at, and instead, he asked me to meet him in the square (I live in a small town, and this is a central location within walking distance to several restaurants). First red flag. I thought it was odd, but I was like, 'sure' (thinking maybe he had a surprise restaurant planned). I go there, all done up with a sexy classy black dress. He shows up in a pink long-sleeve T-shirt, baggy pants, and hiking boots. He looked like he just got off work at a construction site. He was like, oh, I didn't know we were dressing up. WTF? In addition, he hadn't picked a restaurant. Irritated, I quickly chose one I knew I liked and we went. During dinner, I found we had a lot in common. It was good conversation, but I couldn't get over how low-effort he was. At the end of the dinner, he let the check sit on the table for a half an hour. Then he picked up the check and said, "so...are you the type of girl who likes the guy to pay or do you like going half?" I just looked at him and then looked up and away. He paid. I could not believe he even asked me that after all the time and effort I put in to looking my best for our date while he did nothing! Plus, he's not very attractive! (He looked better in his photos.) The next day he texted me wanting to go out again, and I told him that I am looking for a man who is going to put as much effort into himself and a relationship as I am, and he is not that guy.