Hi y’all. I’m going to vent because this is something I’ve noticed since my FDS exorcism last year.
Ever since I’ve learned to decentralize my life from men, I’ve started to reclaim my love for the color pink! I realized that a large part of why I felt afraid to wear the color after like age 7 was because I was afraid of what men (and to a certain extent, women) associated with it- I.E., having that stereotypical lead cheerleader/ mean-girl/ “bitch who is a bully” energy. Since wearing more pink, I’ve noticed that I get some haterade-stained glances, especially from other women.
In media, there are very few examples of women who prefer a more feminine/pink-inclusive look that aren’t criminalized or made to be the villain. I think some good examples of this “demon woman who wears pink” character are people like Sharpay Evans or Regina George lol.
Unfortunately, these female characters (who just happen to wear pink and are unabashedly feminine) are the same ones chosen by directors to bully and terrorize whatever population they’re a part of. I don’t support bullying and I especially don’t support women who put down other women, even in film. However, I was at the gym and I came across this thought:
If the “bully” aspect of these characters was removed, would more women feel unafraid of becoming that confident alpha woman that turns heads because she knows her worth? I think the answer is yes.
The color pink has been associated with “meanness” in a female main character so many times that even when a woman wears pink in the real world, I think some people instantly think “ah there goes a mean girl”- which isn’t necessarily true. I pride myself in lifting up other women and having a sense of validation outside of men, and it’s sad to me that a lot of women feel like diving more into “feminine” looks is synonymous with becoming a bully. Or being sexually promiscuous (which I have to just LOL at because bitch WHERE? I have better things to do than scout for dick 😂).
In so many words, if you removed the bully aspect of those characters I mentioned, they would actually be good pro-FDS characters to look up to. But because that extra layer of being a villain has been added to an otherwise great example of what living your life for you (and not men) can look like, it has only further deincentivized normal women from unapologetically claiming their womanhood and femininity.
The color pink and other “feminine” signals have been criminalized by their negative portrayal in pop culture, making women who watch these movies feel like it is better to mimic the “not like the other girls/cool girl/manic pixie dreamgirl” tropes.
In these films, the pick-me characters that act as foils to the “pink bitch” usually end up winning the attention of her boyfriend or love interest. As a result, my theory is that a lot of women try to fit into the 3 aforementioned tropes to avoid being perceived as “mean” and to “win the men over with their APpRoAcHaBiLITy”. The latter being a false idea that is primarily perpetuated in male-written plots and tricks women into thinking that being a cool girl who hates pink is “the way”.
In reality, this cool girl who is one of the boys ™ will be dropped in 0.02 secs for a pink-wearing “bitch” that doesn’t even acknowledge the existence of men. Not that she wants them, but still.
Personally, although it might sound dramatic, I wear pink as an act of rebellion. It reminds me to do what makes me feel authentic, not what men want me to do. What screams defiance more than actively wearing what I’m “not supposed to” according to male-written dramas that demonize the type of “pink” women who are obviously out of their league?
Anyways, what do you ladies think? I just find it interesting how pink is simultaneously demonized and lusted after all in one fucked-up package, yet, if more women learned to free their psyche from men and joined that same FDS energy as those lead characters, they would finally be free from the endless cycle of male bullshit that pervades their lives.
The solution to their problems (not living for male standards) has been portrayed as “bad” in film due to its association with actual bad traits such as bullying. Since women have been conditioned to conflate the two, I feel like this is one of those stereotypes that makes it even more difficult and unlikely that women will come to FDS-style thinking without stumbling across this community. Thoughts?