I did not author this post, it is From the Handbook:
You are NOT responsible for men acting shitty.
You ARE responsible for not associating with anyone who doesn't live up to your standards.
One of the more insidious ways that women are inadvertently manipulated into unfulfilling one sided relationships is by social grooming that grossly misrepresents the ability and motivations of the average man.
Feminists have been saying men are just like us. The effect is that women get into relationships believing they can reason, negotiate, or emotionally appeal to men to recognize our humanity, in the same manner we would with other women. We give them the benefit of the doubt vastly more often than they deserve. We search ourselves for flaws that may contribute to the reaction. We try to be “evolved”, “open minded” and “reasonable” even in the face of direct disrespect and against our better intuition. After all, if men are just like us, why would they intentionally be cruel and selfish without motivation?
TradCons have been saying men are better than us. Which causes women to vastly underestimate their power and ability. Men make it their business to absolutely devalue anything and everything women contribute that doesn’t directly benefit them. They scare us with cat lady tales. They endlessly pontificate and perform “research” about us to prove women are inferior or incapable. And if all else fails, they tell us their superiority was ordained by a divine being. And wouldn’t you know, all the roles women are best suited for based on their “research” and/or “divine inspiration” are those which encourage our dependence on them, increase our sexual availability, and discourage our autonomy? How convenient.
Of course, both of these groups are wrong. The unflinching truth is that Men are depraved and self serving in ways that’s actually hard to conceptualize as women. You can’t reason with a population who never had the intention of engaging with you in good faith to begin with.
They are not and perhaps never will be as evolved, thoughtful, or considerate of women as whole as feminists want to believe, nor are they as intelligent or innovative or irreplaceable as TradCons want you to believe. Men are also not as ignorant to the effects of their abhorrent behavior toward women as either of these groups want you to believe. They just don’t care.
Men do what they want, and justify it later through controlled manipulation of a narrative. Which they then force us to participate in via gaslighting, fear mongering, concern trolling, social, legal or economic isolation, or outright threats.
The tools we have to fight them, which is reproductive freedom and the ability to have accurate and honest conversations about their behavior, are constantly under attack.
I think what’s great about FDS is we try to adjust expectations of men down to reality. Unfortunately, they’re consistently worse than we have been led to believe, which is why so many of us end up abused, manipulated, exploited, and disappointed. And the closer we describe that reality on this sub, the more unhinged and vitriolic men become.
A byproduct of the adjusted expectations is that women start to view men in their proper lens: base, childlike, and mostly useless. And even more are wholly uninterested or unable to see your humanity, but as a resource to be consumed. They are not at all self motivated as a group to be humane to women for its own sake, only for its perceived personal benefit.
Which of course they don’t want you to know, because why would women put up with their crap? They need us to believe in their lies during our childbearing years, and then when we’re old enough to see them for what they are they can dismiss us as “bitter old hags.” They need to use the state to cripple us legally, economically, and socially otherwise we would find out how truly unimpressive they are. A truth that is becoming ever more evident as they lose the ability to exert absolute control on the narrative.
Patriarchy is gaslighting women into believing most of male behavior is our fault. From the moment Eve ate forbidden fruit from the tree, men have been blaming us for their fucked up nonsense. We didn’t raise them right. We pick the wrong guys. We don’t communicate enough. We’re not submissive enough. We’re not pretty enough. We’re not assertive enough etc etc. Everything is about trying to distract us from what they are and make them our burden to bear.
With this in mind, The MOST important message of FDS is this:
WE DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS. We DON’T have to put up with 1 SECOND OF THEIR CRAP. LET THEM FAIL. They’re SUPPOSED to FAIL. Your continued benevolence will NOT teach them empathy. Men respond to FORCE and CONSEQUENCE.
Don’t fix them, don’t try to, don’t try to change yourself for them, and rarely try and help them. If they fail to meet your expectations, they hit the bench or the chopping block. You are NOT RESPONSIBLE for nor are you obligated to tolerate the behavior of men. Do NOT allow men to leech from you from cradle to grave. Do NOT allow them to convince you to give them anything of value for free. Exercise ruthless mate choice like you and your future children’s life depends on it, because it does.