I'm sorry that I sound so bitter and resentful all the time, but I'm honestly starting to think that people are wrong when they say having friends is necessary to have a good life. It will be obvious to most people on here why having LV friends (or a LV man) is worse than being alone, but I honestly do not think HV friends or HV men are worth any effort either.
All the time you spend on them is just time you can spend doing other stuff. Sometimes I do meet women who I think are HV (they're cool, smart, ambitious, hardworking, successful, kind, creative, etc.) and I desperately want to befriend them. But then I realize I can just work on developing those traits myself. Why not just become the person you admire instead of trying to befriend them?
And no matter how HV someone seems, there's always the chance they're going to hurt or betray me like so many of my friends have in the past. So I just really do not see the point in taking the risk any more. Decentering men is great, but I've already done that. I really want to decenter friends, family and literally everyone so I can have some peace and quiet.
I went from fantasizing about having a husband (gross), to fantasizing about living with a bunch of platonic roommates who will be my best friends, to just wanting to be alone. Maybe one day I'll learn how to go off the grid or something so I just never have to interact with a person again.
I myself am struggling with this too. Like decentering men, a part of me wants to let go of the heartbreak I experience when I try to center women and make meaningful friendships. The woman I once called my best friend has become distant to me and and shows me time and time again that she doesn't see me as a priority. Hell, she even canceled plans to see me for my birthday this weekend because something else came up. Meanwhile, I went all the way to Paris with her for her 40th this past June.
But we can't abandon society and become haggard mountain women (let the men do that).
We need community and socializing to survive. We just do. I'm going to experiment with putting myself in social situations, but not aiming to make friends out of it. Some examples are my twice weekly dance classes. Another is local concerts at my favorite venues. Another is just showing up at events that align with my interests.
Try doing that too. Go to social events for no one other than YOU. Chat with people and keep your expectations low. Keep people at a distance for now. But do not retreat from society, no matter how tempting.