I came across a post this morning on FDS that was a screenshot from another sub, and that poster was asking the question, “Do men ever feel bad about manipulating women for sex?” I feel like the answer is an obvious and resounding no, but I’m not going to talk about that right now. I’m going to talk about the DENNIS system.
Coined by the popular comedy series, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the DENNIS system is the “system” which the character Dennis uses to engage women and get them to sleep with him. (I should also add that he is often times filming these women with or without their consent, in another episode Dennis makes a comment like, “if you’re in my room, you’re always being recorded.”)
Before making this post, I searched to see if anyone else in the sub had broached the topic, and to my delight about a year ago another wonderful FDS member had already made a post going more in depth about the steps of the DENNIS system, so I am going to link the post here instead of just regurgitating the same things again. However, I am going to post the steps of the DENNIS system here, just to reiterate them because that is basically the whole point of my post! Men can and will use whatever tactics they can think of to get you to sleep with them, trust me when I tell you they will say and do just about anything for it, so don’t buy into their bullshit. Vet vet vet, and don’t EVER sleep with a guy on the first date!!
So I'm rewatching the show "It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia" for what has to be the 10th time and I can't get over how creepy and effective the D.E.N.N.I.S system is. I'm not sure if it's been posted here before, but for those of you who don't know I'll explain. One of the main characters (Dennis) devises a sociopathic system to get women to sleep with him...... and of course names the system after himself😂. The steps are as follows:
1. Demonstrate value- This is the early stage of a relationship. Except on steroids: love-bombing, abundant acts of service, gift giving etc. (All super early, like within the first week)
2. Engage physically- sex, or other intimate acts. Basically they try to push boundaries. So if you are celibate then they will get you to go just short of sex. And then try to cross whatever your final boundary is. It won't seem like pushing though, he'll just go on and on about how amazing the chemistry between the two of you is.
3. Nurturing dependence- He will continue the act of being the best boyfriend ever...you'll feel like this man is your soul mate (all within the first 1-3 weeks. Maybe even on the first date). In the show Dennis creates a fake stalker for the woman he is pursuing so that she seeks comfort and protection from him 😂 ridiculous I know! but still possible in real life. Stay woke ladies.
4. Neglect emotionally- we all know examples of this. ie. he isnt returning texts/calls, he's growing distant, perhaps making slight digs here and there. Essentially the standard of treatment will drop drastically. This will have you thinking that it was something YOU did. You'll grow insecure and attempt to return to the initial love-bombing stage by becoming super accommodating, clingy, and anxious.
5. Inspire Hope- the LVM returns to a semblance of the initial love-bombing treatment with some lame excuse like he "got scared of the intimacy" (lol, Dennis uses this gem of an excuse) or he was "falling in love too fast" or maybe even a simple "family emergency". But whatever the excuse is, you'll lap it up because it'll mean his distance/moodiness was not YOUR fault. You'll be relieved to have your self esteem validated. And this is what he wants. To be the source of YOUR self worth and validation.
6. Separates entirely- which is essentially when LVM ghost you or break up with you.
Now if they LVM has worked the D.E.N.N.I.S system properly and has done a good enough job of breaking down the woman's self esteem she should be insecure enough about her value to be open to future breadcrumbing. Then he can start the process all over again ANYTIME he wants. Which is just another reason to completely block LVM, and ignore any and all forms of communication. This includes the "I miss you" the "Hey" and the "Just checking in hope you're well" texts. DO NOT ENGAGE.
Any man who follows the D.E.N.N.IS system is a raging narcissist and MUST be avoided at all costs. This is not a normal relationship pattern. It is designed specifically to break you down. If you feel that your relationship is going along this path please exit it IMMEDIATELY. The harder you stay in these narcissistic relationships the harder it is to get out. I've heard of people wasting their entire lives in these relationships. I'm talking DECADES. There are people in their SEVENTIES that can't get away from their narcs. I encourage everyone to regularly visit the NarcissticAbuse subreddit. It reminds me that falling into the wrong relationship can ruin my life in so many ways that I have not and cannot imagine.
STAY VIGILANT MY FDS SISTERS. This show is hilarious and ridiculous but as we know, the best comedy is always based in truth.
Here's a link to the wiki of the episode if anyone is interested: https://itsalwayssunny.fandom.com/wiki/The_D.E.N.N.I.S._System