In this case, the medium is truly the message.
At FDS, we know there are generally three tangible ways to know if a man likes you: if he spends time, money and effort on you.
Over the course of the week, two incidents from the past have popped in my mind that I thought might be useful context for others to learn from. At the time when these stories happened, my spider sense knew it was fucked up, but I gaslit myself.
Story one - When the ick rushes in
I lived with my ex for years, we split bills according to income, so it was about a 70/30 split with him paying more. After the horror of finding a solid job I liked, the first thing my asshole ex did was ask for another $100 a month in rent from me because it had increased months earlier and this was "fair". He thought he was doing me a favour by waiting to hit me up for more rent money. What a peach.
I was stunned and completely turned off. A man 20 years older than me, who made great money, needed to hit up his young gf for $100 extra a month. Yeesh. We mercifully already had a dead bedroom, thankfully, because there was no way I could get wet for him again after that. He made so much more money than me (and pissed it all away as fast as he made it), and I did everything at home. This guy didn't even know where we kept the hand soap refill container. Such a turn off. It felt like he needed the extra money to justify having me around.
Story two - Tell me what you really think of me
Years ago, I travelled to meet someone (lol, I know 🤡) who seemed interested in me. I had (of course) done all the planning for restaurants and activities, he did nothing. When we were headed out for the day, I suggested a place for drinks and lunch we could hit up throughout the afternoon. His reply? "Millennialpink, those places are expensive." Ladies, this is the man who bragged about having a driver and making mad cash! The math isn't mathing. That's the moment I knew he didn't even like me.
The lesson here is to listen for the small comments and statements from men when it comes to spending their money on you. They will show you what they really think of you when the chips are down and their wallet is on the table.
A man who asks you for money to cover the bills hates you. A man who tells you the place you want to visit is expensive doesn't like you. When a man likes you, he'll happily go broke paying to impress you.
Feel free to add yours
You know what’s crazy? I’ve been lucky enough to have some truly HV men mentor me (all happily married & not interested in me). And these men-THEY held the door for me. They drove. And they wouldn’t hear of it when I offered to pay for anything. But the LV men I’ve dated…yeah. It was all “you got this right?” & “I got the last one…” or just letting the bill sit there. Honestly, maybe TMI but if a man isn’t generous as fuck, I can’t feel any sexual attraction for him anymore.