So I realized that I have this thing where, whenever a guy rejects me i always want to prove to him that i am more. This isnt even in a romantic sense, just generally. I dont even want anything from these dudes either, i just have this obsessive need to show them i was right and they were wrong. I dont have this with women at all, which makes me even more confused.
This rejection can be them for example totally ignoring me in a group for absolutely no reason, even though we were completely normal the day before. Sometimes they go back to normal but i am not over it. Other times they keep this up (honestly i believe those kinda people have issues).
I am sure (or rather i hope) that this isnt a thing that just I struggle with. I read about similar topics but it isnt quite this, so i was curious to see if anybody had the same experience. I tried to figure this out from different angles but i still feel clueless so maybe someone elses approach can be a type of guidance.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: I wanted to sort of update this after some retrospection. This very much fell into the "male gaze" kind of mentality I started to adapt over the years of basically just existing as a woman lol. I think it totally clashed with the idea I had in my mind of how I am supposed to be seen, and not being seen at all wasnt really part of the picture. I am certain my dad has something to do with it aswell haha. But generally I have been working towards letting go of this mentality every day by stopping the thoughts before they can manifest and I truly can say I feel so much more at peace. I feel like childhood me again where all I cared about was actually understanding and experiencing the world around me rather than pondering about how I might be perceived while doing it. Thank you to anyone who commented on this post!