Just a reminder that you were not put on this earth to exist for men. You do not belong to men. Their attention and validation are absolutely worthless.
I know we've been conditioned to seek out male validation. I even struggle with it myself because I've always been invisible to men. I've never been in a relationship or even dated. I don't know what it's like for a man to be interested in me. I've always just wanted to love and be loved, but it has not happened.
I've struggled with these feelings for a long time. I think all women have. We are raised in a patriarchal world that teaches us to center men in every area of our lives. None of us grew up completely free from this desire for male attention.
However, an important aspect of FDS and radical feminism is challenging certain norms. We might have been taught to seek male approval, but we can decide to resist that now as adult women. We can decenter men. We can detach our worth from what men think of us. We might have to make a conscious decision each day to resist the impulse to please men or get their attention.
I've never received sexual attention from men, but I did go through an experience where I was used and led on. So, I got a taste of male attention finally. You know what I learned? It is fickle and conditional. And it was never about me. He didn't care about me. He wasn't deeply interested in me. He wanted something from me: my emotional support, an ego boost, who knows. He didn't use me for my looks, but he used me for other things. His validation and attention were useless. I got nothing out of it, and he discarded me for the next woman who would give him whatever he was seeking.
Life is short. Do not spend what little time you have living for men or getting wrapped up in their opinion of you. You are always disposable to a LVM. A LVM is never worth it. Never. You will be thrown away, forgotten, and abandoned.
At the end of the day, I don't think we really want the attention at all. Maybe we settle for it because what we long for is to be loved for who we are, to be cherished. Male attention is a substitute for the deeper thing we yearn for. It's a bandaid. It solves nothing. It is a temporary high that can lead to terrible pain. Being used is one of the worst feelings in the world.
Remember you are precious, unique, and beautiful as you are, even if no man ever validates you or sees your worth. Do not give them power over you. Do not let them take your light. Do not let them control how you feel about yourself. You are so much more than what a man thinks of you. Never forget that.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I completely agree. I'm 47 years old, and i can honestly say that I regret that I wasted so much time dating. I regret each and every time. And the only love, respect, and reliance I found in the end were from myself. Looking back, all the worst, most trying times in my life, were because of men.