For a year after breakup I as doing quite fine. Rediscovering myself, making new friendships in new town, working on myself and I was genuinely happy that my failed relationship was way behind me. Until yesterday.
I went out with my male friend and I was literally craving a romantic touch. It was driving me so crazy that basically after couple of hours I just went home, saying that I have a headache from cold weather. He's lovely but gay.
I dressed up very feminine, which is also something I couldn't do because my ex was always criticizing my shape, even though I know now I looked like embodiment of Venus, you know the hour glass figure, long hair, ample bosom? Yep. Me 20 years ago when we met. The relationship with him turned me into tomboy. I was wearing oversized sweaters, combat pants and Martens boots.
A year after, I kind of rediscovered my femininity and started to dress more to my shape and to accentuate my boobs, I mean I have been blessed with nice shape, with not. I had this super floral dress with cache-coeur decolte and oh lord, that attracted male gaze. The second I steppend on the bus, I heard one dude having a small gasp and he couldn't look away. I know, it's the flashy colors that attract attention but also the smile, I know he liked what he saw. And of course he was too much of a coward to ask for phone number.
Then I was sitting at the bar with my friend and I saw dudes around us. They were staring, looking, they were jealous. When I went to the ladies, one of the dudes literally high fived my friend for being there with me. High f..ing fived. There was a post here some time ago, stating you should not hang out with males as a friend because others assume you're taken. I totally got it.
On the way back home, I caught a lot of male gaze on the train and suddenly I really felt I would like the romantic touch, the hand holding, the sweet look in the eyes. I do remember that from the beginning of relationship with my ex and I crave it. I crave it so much but I don't know how to find it and if I will ever have a chance to experience it again.
That relationship has destroyed me in many ways. Even though I crave it, I am scared to death.
Do you girls know how to stop it?
You're romanticizing men.
I do this too, sometimes, then I think about the kind of porn they want (nasty deepthroat, no female orgasm, slurs). I also think of how many women theyve probably called a "bitch" for no real reason.
They're mostly not good for us, and I've found that the more I know about individual men, the less I like. I married a huge crush I had in my early twenties, and when I actually lived with him, he was just really stereotypically gross.
You just gotta keep taking "get real" pills until you're sober.
Those dudes would buttfuck and unconcious teen if they knew they wouldn't get caught. Most males.
I think you’re starting to fall into dangerous “pickme” territory and you need help before you start to really lose it. It’s normal to crave opposite sex intimacy, we’re biologically designed to. If you do want that intimate relationship, you need to start looking for it after healing from you breakup truly. Instead of looking for rando male gaze (most of them are perverts and will drool over any female body so do not feel too flattered by their constant horny attention) try looking for a genuinely kind man. Make conversation with men, dress in a modest but attractive way, be open. You will for sure attract horny dusties while dressed sexily. This is not to shame you for dressing that way, but it’s the truth. The men who will oogle you are LVM who probably already have a gf/wife and a p*rn addiction. You do not want the thirsty dusty man. Go to places where you’ll be more likely to meet HVM and start scouting. Desperation will make you settle for any LVM so revamp your self concept to be way too above that nonsense to desire it. Your last relationship left a scar that you need to heal in order to truly love yourself more than you desire attention or affection, so when you enter a new healthy relationship, it will be an addition to your life and not a necessity
I think what you have described is a normal human experience. I also occasionally crave male connection and I often crave human touch.
The craving for male connection usually passes pretty quickly, but human touch is a lot harder. If it's particularly difficult, I'll book in for a massage or sleep with a weighted blanket.
For my two cents, I don't think there is anything wrong with you or anything to stop, its more about learning to manage a passing feeling.
Look into something called limerence. If you had a lonely childhood it's very normal to have almost childish fantasies of intimacy with a perfect person. It can make you delusional and miserable sis I highly recommend therapy to help with this.
So you went one year feeling fine and had one day where you didn't. Sounds normal to me. Feelings come and go.
But I do think you're very much in the dark of what a relationship with most men entails because you literally just listed how only a guy on the verge of getting laid is capable of being consistently lol.
Like WHAT do you actually expect when you think of a relationship with a man because I think thats where you're going wrong.