This is something that happened last year but of course I'm still crying about it and overthinking everything after a choline capsule.
We had a really creepy supervisor at work, he was pretty attractive but he'd sexually harass like every white girl in their 20's (including me). His attractiveness was essentially a tactic to get laid, nothing more. He would do it as he was already dating a coworker! Wow! Stunning.
Multiple people knew he used to scream at his girlfriend at the time and call her a b*tch.
We get a new girl and I try befriending her. She's really standoffish, treated me like I was supposed to be "a fan" and would "talk at me" , so I was like aight cool I'll just avoid you instead of trying to change you. No big deal. But I warned her of the creepy supervisor because I atleast don't want her to be sexually harassed and traumatized at work.
Guess what she does? She's buddy buddy with him, they tag team and try spreading rumors about me. She tries getting info on "my type" , to report to him. She asks me if "I want a sugar daddy" in front of him while I'm breaking up boxes in a dirty receiving room. She stares at me while I talk to my male friends (who I've blocked now because I've leveled up.)
She's like "he's a good guy, he's the only one who isn't mean to me here"... Like I was first person to be nice to you, you treated me like shit and I stopped caring and now you're saying this obese fuck is the only person here who treated you well? Trying to be contrarian, trying to just be annoying.
I actually started crushing on the guy as a cope because we knew eachother for 2 years, I hated my job but didn't want to advance and learn something new because my drinking problem was so bad I couldn't remember names or past events.
We get a new store manager and oh man she's a pick-me too, she thinks I'm bullying this girl who I hadn't spoken to in like a year and who I'm trying to politely avoid so I don't blow my brains out. She thinks I'm bullying her and she got in my business so bad I wanted to puke. She was on his side the whole time even though ANOTHER woman left because of him and said it to her face. She's probably the main reason I left despite it all.
Like I'm trying to be nice to my fellow women and they're just so dick hungry and contrarian they need to complicate everything and make a show out of it. Every woman there had beef with me I literally just surrounded myself with dumb guys that I could trust at the time.
I EVEN CONFRONTED HER telling her I wanted to be her friend and that I didn't have beef with her, LIKE TWICE.
Then I made another female friend there, she hated the girl and talks shit about her, she turns around and said I was talking shit. Like why am I the scapegoat here? Like holy shit. I can't fuckin win. Being a good person isn't an automatic win, especially as a woman.
Every night I have nightmares of that place because I live 5 minutes away from it and I still live in the same town/ work in the same industry/ see their profiles on LinkedIn being fake af.
I want to get over it and Evolve but simply sitting still makes me think about it.
I go to the gym once a day and I'm an independent adult. I tried therapy but the ones down here are so bad they literally asked me how much I make and treat me differently depending on that.
Jesus you got bullied hard then made out to be the bully. I'm so sorry! You tried to do the right thing by warning her.
My defense tactic with work pickmes is the dumb fox one. I let them steer the conversations while I seem not to disagree with anything they say. This gives me time to observe them to see if they're the hopeless pickme type or if they are that new girl that needs to be warned about the creeps.
They really make work annoying though. I'm constantly trying not to roll my eyes lol. They seek the male validation and "friendships" sooo so bad and either don't give the other women at work the time of day or see them as competition... When the dudes are trash to begin with. But they'll gleefully date their coworkers and then go into super jealous mateguarding mode. I even see them mateguarding and vying for attention when they already have boyfriends at home!
Sorry to derail but…I’m extremely curious what the choline capsule does?
I'm sorry to hear that these things which happened a year ago are still difficult for you.
You state that you tried therapy but can't find one to your liking in your area. Based on everything you wrote, I believe your initial instinct is still correct. You could greatly benefit from therapy. Online options exist now so you are in no way limited to the therapists in your area .