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Maybe I’m just “triggered” but I just read a Reddit post where the woman talked about her boyfriend being more sexually attracted to her when she’s wearing makeup. Almost every comment is defending him because pReFeReNcEs and I’m just so tired. Also, as a side note, I’m deleting my Reddit account and staying away from that cespool of a website.
My cheating ex told me once that he was upset that I didn’t wear makeup to his friend’s SuperBowl party (the attendees were just his friend and his wife and us) and he felt like I stopped trying because I was “too comfortable.” I cried about this for days but I didn’t leave him because I was so desperate for his love that I starting wearing makeup more and doing my hair. Looking back he obviously did it to crush my self esteem so I would think no other man would ever love me.
Why is it that women aren’t allowed to be comfortable in a relationship? Isn’t that the whole point? Why are men seen as attractive just for meeting basic hygienic standards but that’s not enough for women for women to be attractive? We have to wear make up, do our hair, and wear sexy lingerie just to make men happy. It’s all a performance and I am TIRED.
The saddest part about all of this is that women who actually do all of these things because it makes them feel good ARE STILL NOT ENOUGH. This is true because think of all the beautiful women who get cheated on by men who aren’t even half as attractive as their female partner. It feels like nothing we do will ever be good enough to make them “want us” and find us “desirable” and I’m just over it. Why bother at all when the results are always the same?
Like I said, maybe I’m just triggered and maybe “not all men” but it truly feels like the vast majority of men are shallow (but then have the audacity to call women shallow because we don’t want to date slobs). Lmao. I’m done now.
Edit because I phrased something in a confusing way.
The entirety of human culture is male gaze. In any museum, there is more art of women than art by women and that didn't happen randomly.
“Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.”
-Margaret Atwood
Be beautiful because you want to be, not for any man. Be beautiful in whatever way is comfortable and self-loving for you, whether it’s with or without makeup. The whole point here is to focus on your own goals and needs, and to do the hard work of fulfilling them. Women are socialized from birth to perform for men, even at the expense of our own sexual pleasure. But the day we truly stop caring what a man thinks of our healthy, self-caring decisions is the day we are truly free. I dress well and wear makeup because it makes me feel beautiful and confident. I could not care less what any man thinks about it, including my own. If he has a problem with my personal choices and preferences for how I present myself to the world, there’s the door. —>
It's so annoying. The times I've heard: 'oh this would suit you better' 'oh no not too much makeup' blablabla or from other women: 'I keep my hair long for my husband' 'I need to shave for my husband' and also the amount of lingerie advertisements, NOT FOR YOU but FOR SOMEONE ELSE. This 'performing' thing really made me think of lingerie for example and walk around for your husband like a showpony thats 1 and 2 this is what Ive heard so many times and its so embarrassing and humiliating: women wear this pretty, expensive lingerie to seduce their lvm/nvm to finally distract him from gaming and these are the most likely scenarios if youre with an pos like that: he will just look up and says 'great!' And continues or jumps on you, rips your lingerie off your body and fucks you for a hot minute without thinking about letting you cum, I mean... I'm a casual woman, I don't wear fancy lingerie, I don't wear bra's because they feel uncomfortable but when I'm with a (lvm/nvm) man I should do all this uncomfortable shit just because hE pReFeRs Well I pReFeR that you wash your ass, even when you're single ok 🐒💩🤡🙂 ALSO what I REALLY hate is the fact that LVM/NVM see you as a sexual object always and they think you owe it to them. Like you bend over to grab something: HuHuhUhhuhHh sexy. You're laying in bed and get basically dry humped because this porn sick chihuahua wants to fuck cause he saw your ass cheek or your thigh or... well your eyebrow whatever and when you say no he is hurt, feels reject or he's mad or sad or whatever. Fuck that. And I don't say you can't dress up for your partner ór for example wear nice lingerie. But this shit is for actual HVM!!! who respects it, who deserves and appreciates it and does not see it as you selling yourself or whatever. Btw: you can also dress up for yourself, wear nice lingerie (if you're into that) for yourself etc. etc. Be you. Do you. Don't ever do uncomfortable things if you deeply feel that it's not something you would do EVER. Be confident in your own level of being comfortable whatever that may look like. 💜
I wear makeup maybe 2-3 times in a YEAR. I like how my skin feels without it, and I am lucky I dont have too many issues with my skin that I feel I need to cover. All my friends, family, and coworkers are used to seeing me everyday without it. I explained to a coworker one time that I dont even wear makeup on first dates anymore because if a guy has a problem with me not wearing makeup, it wont work anyway, so why bother presenting myself as someone Im not. My coworker thought that was such a bad idea because why not show myself off all dolled up for a first date. Its not like I roll out of bed and show up to the date, I am clean and well dressed and put together. But if a guy is not fine with me being fresh faced, the relationship will never work out so why waste my time!
I love to dress up and then men will ask “why do you dress like that?” or “if you are not going anywhere later why do you dress like that?” (i’m not wearing anything revealing. i got literally just wear a romper and still get such questions) lol dumb men
More "sexually" attracted? To me that says that hes fetishized women and wants to fuck a cartoon character or a human blow up doll. Unhealthy sexuality on the part of narcissistic fucked up in the mind men might constitute "preferences", just like psychopathic murderers might have a "preference" for skinny young blondes
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Good article about the beauty industry https://theglobepost.com/2018/10/17/beauty-industry-inequality/