My brother is a petty career criminal and my mom is his pickme cheerleader.
Despite all my brothers being low achieving and this particular brother already has a long history of being in jail, my mom and dad take no accountability for their failure to raise sons. My other 2 brothers are also LVM. They just cannot function in society. They are not men that can provide, left broken homes of their own and my parents are in lala land about their role in all of this.
What annoys me is when my mom comments that the scrote brother should find a good "wife" or good "woman" to marry him to help him out. There is NO woman that should be near him. He already has a history of abuse towards women.
But my mom swears up and down he just needs a wife or woman to help take care of him and help him out of these problems in his life (career, his criminal record.) She gets upset anytime he has brought a gf home (usually he has to manipulate or lie to these women to even get them to date him) because these women leave him, he has nothing going for him in life why would a woman waste her time?
At one point I was the nice pickme sister that liked to hang out with him, then he started getting abusing and harass me as if I was the speaker/representative for all women and all the "bad" things he proclaimed women do, but ever since I realized how much negative impact my life had from interacting with this scrote LVM brother and my pickme mom, I greyrocked all of them and my life has been more peaceful.
It's just frustrating to hear her support my scrote brother in another venture to find yet another gf in hopes he finds the "good one" but in my life I've received no support in elevating my life away from my parents. It seems I'm going to have to do that all alone because to be honest it seems like my mom would rather not help me get away from the negativity of this family as it's in her best interest to keep me around.
I am in online uni at the time and it's hard feeling like I'm doing this alone. And yes I AM doing this alone. I'm doing all my own work, studying, fighting my own anxieties and problems. Where's the HVM in my life to help me? There are none! I've done therapy, I use my online resources, but at the end of the day no one is in my life helping me currently, my community isn't the greatest, I'm in solo survival mode.
This is why I find unconditional love a corrupt emotion, How can you love a son that abuses other women?
It sucks that you're totally on your own with your family, but always be grateful for the truth. You know where you stand and what to expect. Nothing from them.
That being said, I'm petty and my coping mechanism would be macabre humor.
For example, the next time your pick me mom laments she can't find a woman to offload her parenting failures on regarding your brother, laugh and lightheartedly say out loud, "Yeah, he's a real catch, it's such a mystery!" or "Hope she's got a flexible schedule to drive him to court" or "Hahah only if she hates herself! It's a full time unpaid position with zero benefits" while walking out of the room laughing.
To what you can to keep yourself stay sane then flee as soon as you can.
in my life I've received no support in elevating my life away from my parents. It seems I'm going to have to do that all alone because to be honest it seems like my mom would rather not help me get away from the negativity of this family as it's in her best interest to keep me around.
I hate to say it, but i think your instincts are probably correct. I'm afraid you're going to have to rely on yourself to become independent of your family.
I am in online uni at the time and it's hard feeling like I'm doing this alone. And yes I AM doing this alone. I'm doing all my own work, studying, fighting my own anxieties and problems. Where's the HVM in my life to help me? There are none!
Very often the only person we can truly rely on is ourselves. However it sounds like you're doing pretty well, all considered. In the long run, you will probably do better than your brothers. You will become strong and independent whereas your brothers will probably be depending on their parents for the rest of their lives.
I'm assuming you're in college so I suggest you prioritise college and hopefully you'll get a good qualification, you'll get a job and that will help you become independent of your family. Once you are financially independent of your family, you can have as much or as little contact with them as you want.
I will never understand these boymoms. It's hard not to think their attachement to their sons is unhealthy and there's a subconscious incestuous vibes behind their demeanor.