Saw this on reddit. I've talked about this a little bit here in that you have to choose a fully developed, fully mature HVM who understands thoroughly what his role and responsibilities are as the head of the family -- otherwise please stay single.
This is the reason why.
Courting a woman is a heavy responsibility. Marriage is a heavy responsibility. Being a husband is a heavy responsibility. Having kids is a heavy responsibility. Protecting and providing for his family unit is a heavy responsibility. Becoming the head of his lineage is a heavy responsibility. Becoming the pillar of support for his nurturer that he choose is a heavy responsibility.
It is no longer about bedroom activities. This is serious, we are not playing house.
And no, having a career of your own and doing 50/50 is not going to solve the problem -- you will have easier time finding a partner sure, but the root of the problem still remains.
MAJORITY OF MEN ARE NOT READY TO SHOULDER ALL THOSE HEAVY RESPONSIBILITIES. They are underdeveloped and still stuck in that fratboy/momma's boy phase. They expect everything to stay easy and comfortable. They don't want to shoulder any hardship. They throw tantrums when they have to endure hardships. They rage and blame everyone and everything -- including those kids he fathered for making his life "miserable". He is jealous of the kids (and you) because they all "have it easy" while he has to work and provide for the family. They start looking elsewhere for new, exciting "love" and want to kick this family he created to the curb.
Even if you do 50/50 (or more accurately, you will be the breadwinner eventually because he starts throwing tantrums about paying half, and "mysteriously" lose his job) -- you ain't gonna change these men. They are underdeveloped, stunted, didn't go through all the necessary trials and tribulations to grow into a proper man, stuck in their la la land of everything being easy day in day out (and think everything will be nice and easy too after marriage and kids), and get the shock of their life when reality punches them in the face hard.
Funnily enough, they still want the respect and adoration as the head of the family. Without working for it -- they just want the cake and eat it too. Ladies, you can play pretend with these men for a year or two but your heart can't lie -- you can't respect a man who demands respect but doesn't do anything to earn it. You simply can't respect a man you have to paid for or doing 50/50 with -- because they aren't a man. They are a kid with an adult's body. His every actions scream "a selfish bratty kid". Even a high-paying job and expensive clothing can't hide that.
Why do you think he minimizes your every pain and get jealous when you get more attention (and he got pushed to the background) during your pregnancy?
That cute manchild boyfriend of yours ain't gonna be so cute anymore when he is forced to start shouldering actual adult responsibilities.
Ladies, think long term. Start treating relationship and marriage as the very serious thing that they are -- and you are responsible for choosing the best leader for your future families. If you just want to have fun -- let it stay fun. Don't get serious. Do rotational dating while staying single. Your future families will thank you.
Yes, you may or may not find him because a fully developed, fully mature HVM are rare. But being single instead of starting another chain of generational trauma is a far better outcome for your life. You aren't born into this world for the sole purpose of finding and keeping a man -- that's what the patriarchy has brainwashed you with. Starting a family is one of the choices -- and only applicable if you meet a truly developed, truly ready HVM. If you don't? Look at all of the other options and live your life to the fullest -- instead of contributing more hurt and agony into this world.