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You should not be making porn for guys, whether you are in a relationship or not. There’s nothing in it for you and you have everything to lose. Even if it’s illegal where you are for men to share porn of you they still do it very commonly, showing it to friends in person or in text threads or to strangers online. Any person who has worked in and “fit in” at a majority male environment can attest to this. You’ll still face social consequences whether you ever find out it’s happening to you or not. You’ll face the same mental health consequences whether he is punished for it or not. Women have lost reputation, family, friends, jobs, and taken their own lives because of this. It’s a nightmare to even remove this content from the internet, and it may keep popping up forever as men upload it to websites over and over again.
A HVM is not pornsick, period! He provides for your safety, cares about your comfort, and does not see you as an object. He would not ask you to produce pornography for him no more than he would ask any other person he truly respects to submit, degrade themself, or put themself at risk.
Even if you do it for some cash-I am ashamed to say I was in a bad financial spot at one point in my life and did some sex work in the past to keep a place to live-it will forever be able to be shared and sold without your consent.
i don’t like to share this but think it may be valuable as a cautionary tale. I thought, cool, this guys gonna pay me enough for my entire months rent to give him a bj and record it “for personal use”
when I refused to see him a second time, he asked for permission to sell this video online saying he would pay me half the money he made. I said not a chance and he said that he had already paid “more than enough” for it anyway and was being nice to offer me half. He said he had also recorded the part where I accepted his money And that nobody is going to be taking the side of a prostitute in something like this.
He said that I should be grateful he got me out of a tight spot and was “so generous“ to me. He said I was lucky to be “special” enough to him for this type of consideration-and that most women he hooked up with and sold their photos/videos were not even paid and had no knowledge of it! He also sent me a video of another woman giving him a bj, i guess it was to prove his point.
i kept finding the video online for about a year, and sending notices for dmca takedown but they still are out there somewhere for sure. Many of the responses to my request or it to be taken down (mostly Reddit-surprise surprise)were either ignored or they replied asking for proof that I own the videos.
This is what a man will do to you if you trust him with ANY videos or photos of you. It was really soul crushing to be pimped out on the internet. Don’t only refuse to send nudes but also make sure no dude is recording secretly if you do anything sexual with him.
Amen Sistah! Preach! This has been a hard rule for me since the invention of the internet. I have never sent nudes of my self, to any man. Bf or otherwise. I have taken some risqué pictures of myself on my own camera, where I control the dissemination of said pics. But never, ever, ever send nudes of yourself!
Here is a typical liberal feminist argument: ”I know it's hard to feel comfortable taking a promiscuous photo let alone a naked photo. Do not let society tell you that sending this is slutty or that you’re being sexualized. Instead, remind yourself that you are a sexy, confident woman and you are proud of your body…” The author asks you to override your self preserving, logical sense of danger in order to pump up your sense of self esteem. This is a red herring. Yes, it’s ideal to have high self esteem. However, making yourself vulnerable to a man doesn’t achieve that. You can feel sexy and confident and have all the sex you want with a respectful partner. The author is either incredibly naive or purposely lying to say pornography isn’t sexualized. The reason you shouldn’t indulge porn sick men by producing porn is not because “it’s slutty” (implying there is something wrong with your sexual nature) it’s because it is a huge transfer of power that doesn’t benefit you. Society doesn’t ask men to put their well-being at this level of risk as part of courtship. This should not be normalized.
Asking for nudes shows such a lack of imagination. You can be playful and flirty instead. Early on, my boyfriend once texted that he missed me and warned me of incoming nudes; I got a knee cap and his ear. It made me laugh. It made me want to see him (and see all of him). I once got sent a topless picture from a guy via OLD with the caption “Now it’s your turn” which was just so gross. We’d barely spoken let alone met. It’s so much more than the risks (which are undeniable), it shows that they don’t understand how to flirt or seduce.
I first witnessed this in middle school at lunch, they made fun of her boobs :( 😞 I never ever intended to send nudes in the first place due to me being Christian, but that raised my resolve to 250%.
Also, if you're in high school currently: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't send nudes!!! It can be counted as child porn, had a teacher point blank tell us this in a class once.
It's a good vetting strategy though--any scrote who demands or pushes for this gets instantly nexted.
If you want to do a sexy photoshoot for yourself, find a good, female boudoir photographer and keep them in a private folder---no sharing!
In my experience only porn sick maladapted males ask for nudes.