Hi ladies, looking for some community and support right now. It is hard out here.
I just broke it off with another man and I am… exhausted. I definitely think my dating life has been more successful since learning about and adhering to FDS principles, but man that doesn’t make dating actually easy. Before I am flooded with the “dating should be fun!” comments – I know! And Agree! I repeat this to my sisters all of the time. But the thing is, it can’t always be fun. Sometimes it is heartbreaking. I am an introverted person who finds it hard to be comfortable around new people. Sure, it’s fun to go on dates, it’s fun to get to know somebody new, but it’s not fun to have your feelings hurt. No amount of guarding my heart, keeping my options open, or adhering to my own standards can prevent me from hurt feelings. I am a relationship-minded person and I really hate having to stay so “strong” and “independent” all of the time. I feel like I am constantly getting my hopes up just to be let down. It’s hard because hope keeps me going, but it’s also what crushes me the most.
I know I should take a break, and that’s what I’m going to do. I just wanted to reach out to the community to hear some encouraging words. I love FDS and grateful for the strength it has given me to drop LVM. I just hope my HVM is out there.
This meme gives me comfort:
You are trying! Applaud yourself for it. Grieve all the hope you had. Be angry at our society for making shit men and be the best you can for yourself ♥️
I totally get the working at being strong and independent. I shouldn’t have to state my boundaries ALL THE TIME. I shouldn’t have to tell a man how to behave to prove that I deserve respect. That’s what these single men do. Tired of it. Looking forward to not dating so I can actually work on my issues, instead of trying to substitute pain with a random LVM.
I am also introverted, and it takes time for me to be comfortable around new people, so I understand where you are coming from.
You are doing great! Everything you are doing is right.
Hang in there. Take some time to build yourself back up, and start again when you feel ready.
<hugs>
I recently revisited “The Missing Piece” by Shel Silverstein and I cannot recommend it enough. If you haven’t read it since you were a child or if you’ve never read it, please check it out. It’s free on the internet archive. It deals with searching for someone to help us feel whole but also looks at the things about ourselves that we lose by thinking we need someone else to complete us. Revisiting it has helped me appreciate how much I love my independence. Not because I need to try to embrace it but because it’s an opportunity for so many little moments where I get to experience the world as an individual
I can't even date any more and i definitely want to be in a relationship. I'm just so damn tired and not willing to lose my peace any more!