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When is it time to decide if you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend with someone?
Right now, I've been seeing someone for 2 months and I've been continuously getting them. I have limited dating experience with HVM, my last 2 were incredibly toxic however this current man has passed many vetting checkpoints. At what point should we become proper boyfriend girlfriend status?
I'm hesitant to call it too early because for me that title hold a lot of weight. We're currently exclusive, not seeing other people because we decided we wanted to explore us more and that was decided about a month in. To me, a boyfriend is a step closer to marriage so that's why I want to be sure I'm making the right choice.
You need to go back and read the FDS handbook! You are never exclusive with any man you date and you have a rotation. You don’t need to tell him you are seeing others and you also don’t have sex with them. Men say they are exclusive to control you while they date and play around. Also, 2 months is way way way too early. Give it 6-8 months to see his true colors and see if he is actually courting you and putting the effort.
I agree with the other ladies’ responses. I’ll add the obvious, do not ask him to be your boyfriend! He must be the one to initiate that conversation. And you mention being "exclusive" - men want exclusivity to limit you from finding better options. LVM want to commit to as little as possible for the greatest possible benefit. I would personally be offended if a man wanted exclusivity without wanting me to be his girlfriend. I allow multiple men to court me for quite a while until I feel comfortable committing to one. I hope you're not sleeping with him yet either. "Exclusive" sexual partners who are not bf/gf (or better, engaged), are simply fuck buddies.
Even if you don’t accept the title of “girlfriend” until 6-8 months (or never, and have him court you until engagement!), he should WANT you to be his girlfriend, fiancée, wife, and be continually, actively building trust with you and bettering your life. If he is not eager to show that he is worthy of commitment and a formal progression of the relationship, then you’re just an option to him. Men who are complacent with a nebulous, informal relationship don’t care if they lose you, and/or are LVM.
Once they propose 😂
For real though, this time around I’m not being somebody’s “girlfriend” until I’m confident I’d want to marry them. So definitely more than 2 months!