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WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Ladies - remember what is at stake - your mind and your body.
Just a quick reminder + pep talk.
Being selective is critical to your wellbeing.
Do not accept sub par behavior in the beginning of your courtship.
Every time you rationalize away a red flag or poor behavior you are creating a deficit to your mental health. You are devaluing yourself.
The mental gymnastics you are required to employ if a man is behaving badly will only torment you when things eventually disintegrate.
Secondly, your body. If he has no respect for your body or boundaries DITCH HIM. The purpose of selecting a mate is to:
a) secure a committed partner
b) ( potentially) find a suitor to reproduce with.
If he is not respecting your body or your boundaries - do not entertain a moment of this! If you eventually become pregnant with his child - you will be in a very vulnerable position. Mentally, financially and physically.
You will be at your weakest and if he has no respect for you in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship, he will certainly not offer you respect or courtesies when you are in physical discomfort and pain.
A good test is always - "Are this man's genes worthy of reproducing with mine? Will my offspring have a strong chance of survival with a man that shows me zero respect? Is this man WORTH being pregnant for? Does he have the resources to provide my genetic material with the best opportunities life has to offer'?
Never surrender your boundaries.
Remember - you are offering them something deeply sacred - the opportunity for their genetic material to continue in society. Vet them with deep caution. A man with good character is crucial to your well being and mental and physical health.
The wrong choice can lead you into a life of despair.
The handbook posts project.
Thank you for re-posting this one! I agree 100% and the test is so useful. So many women settle for men who don't respect them and just end up unhappy. Respect is so important and as women living in the patriarchy we need it more than ever.