Story 1: "Married 4 years, husband has all the money in his account"
My husband makes over 100k. I work part time from home and make 20k. We split bills, he does pay a larger amount due to his wage. After bills, I am not left with much but can always go to my husband.
That's great and all... But I am tired of asking for money. "Can I have 20$ for gas?" "I'm going to the store, I need some money". We have a joint account that he sends me money through, usually only the exact amount I need. It's not that uncommon for me to have as little as $20 in my account meanwhile he has... Well I don't even know how much he has aside from a few thousand.
I've asked him before if we can just put all our money in the joint, that happened for about 6 months then it went back to him keeping most of the money. Just feels bad man. I wish I could make more. I recently began a new business so we will see how that goes.
I recently asked him if we can put all the money in the joint and he said maybe. We have a great relationship otherwise... This just makes me resent him a bit.
✒️ You don't "resent him a bit" -- you resent him, period. Because your relations isn't "great otherwise" -- your "relationship" (if we can even call it that) is lackluster at best.
✒️ That dude doesn't even like you sis, he is barely tolerating you -- you are a placeholder until he found someone he is really excited about.
✒️ Dude just like the fact that he has someone he can feel smug on and lord over -- it is akin to a master-slave or owner-servant "relationship".
✒️ He is gleefully taunting her and enjoying seeing her being insecure and stressed over her lower income -- you know, like a bully. I bet y'all a thousand if her business picks up -- he is going to find a way to sabotage her next.
✒️ This is what pissed me off the most with all these "But our relationship is based on love! We are in this together!" -- yeah yeah yeah. You love him -- but does he? Love you?
✒️ Because in my world -- men love by taking care of his partner thoroughly. While she loves him by taking care of herself thoroughly. Because a woman is a man's source of happiness and his reason to keep fighting, to keep living. If she breaks down -- his entire world crashes.
✒️ She would be a lot happier (and healthier) just being single on a 20k income and slowly build her business -- because that way she doesn't have that asshole taunting, stressing her out, and making her miserable by comparing how "better" he is to her. Egging her to make rash decisions because she just can't wait to get out of that misery, clouding her judgement.
✒️ I am also building my own business right now and the NUMBER ONE thing I learned is that everything has to be on MY PACE and nobody else has a say in what my moves are -- my stress contained is MAXED with the business alone, can't even deal with external stressors right now. She may still succeed depending on how tenacious she is -- but the price she has to pay will be brutal.