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🔗https://www.vice.com/en/article/dy375q/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-groups 🔗 May 26, 2023, 3:45am
After the recent surge in FDS posts about 'Are We Dating The Same Guy?' groups, I happened to find an article talking about them.
P.S. This is an EXTREMELY CONDENSED version of the article. If you have the time I encourage you to read it all so you can fully understand the intent behind my question.
Article starts off with this sentiment:
📝By collating these walking red flags, women get to – in theory – crowdsource their own safety. And in a world where almost two million people are on Tinder in the UK alone, a community that has your back can make all the difference. “It feels amazing to be helping protect so many women,” an anonymous moderator of the London group tells VICE.
But then immediately goes pickme 🙄:
📝But in the world of dating discourse, definitions of a red flag can differ dramatically. So, too, can your read on how a date went. Andre – whose name, like all the daters in this piece, has been changed to protect his privacy – is a 27-year-old from London who uses Tinder and Bumble. He was alerted to a post about him in the city’s group by three different friends. His date said that he was too pushy; he claims that she came back to his place, “acted weird and then left” / “I knew I was in that group because I heard it from multiple sources,” he tells VICE, “and obviously her side doesn’t match my side. We had a miscommunication and then I’m hearing from girls I grew up with that I’m a creep or that I did something. I don’t think these groups are helpful to anyone.”
She is bringing in a man's voice to "be neutral". But then again the industry is controlled by scrotes so who knows? Maybe she agrees with us but journalistic standards need to be followed lol
The article even acknowledges the conflicts between women's right to know and men's right to lie:
📝Social media can act as an arena for public persecution as much as it can act as a vehicle for change. By the very nature of the Are We Dating The Same Guy groups, nobody can defend themselves if someone posts about them. At the same time, there’s no way for a woman to corroborate her story unless other members back her up.
Then there's an anecdote about a skeptical woman who then found out she is in the right to ditch him.
Pickme snitches attack:
📝Another woman who posted about her negative experience tells VICE that she had to delete her socials after being threatened by both men and women, whom she assumes were her date’s friends.
Unproblematic men don't give AF.
📝Kieran, 33, found out about his post through friends. “My friends told me about it,” he says. “Basically, my friend’s girlfriend’s friend – I sort of know her – saw me in a post. I certainly have an opinion on it all, but I haven’t got any reasons to worry.” / Kieran didn’t seem bothered by his friends seeing the post – why should he? The comments about him were resoundingly positive.