(TW) If a man ever talks about how "false r*pe allegations can rUiN a GuY's LiFe", run the fuck away

I've only known two guys in real life to ever say this s*** out loud. One was a legit rapist, who full on sexually assaulted me after I said the word no about 20 times and he used violence. He actually called me the name of a prior victim, but at the time I never heard of her and he claimed it was just some woman at work he was training and that was on his mind that day. When I mentioned the name to my friend, she said oh my God that's the girl he raped. I connected with her on Facebook and she confirmed that he raped her.

When I met this guy, we were working at the same place in senior year of high school. I remember him telling me that some girl had "falsely accused him" and it was ruining his life. At the time, 18 years old and freshly out of an abusive home environment, total pick me, I was like oh my God you poor guy, that's terrible she would do that to you, horrible. We hooked up consensually once or twice, and I remember he made me use mouthwash right after which I thought was weird but maybe he just wanted to kiss me or something? Obviously in retrospect was trying to erase any evidence if I "falsey accused him".

And guess what, when I reported him to the police for the actual non-consensual assault that occurred 6 months later, involving bypassing the word no and using literal violence to intimidate me, absolutely nothing came of the investigation because I had no evidence. Why did I have no evidence? Because I didn't strap a GoPro to my p*ssy. I didn't have cameras in my bedroom lmao. Surprisingly he didn't text me right after saying "hey great catching up with you sorry about the sexual assault, have a great Wednesday!"

The other guy I knew who brought this stuff up was my ex-boyfriend. We only ever had consensual sex, and he seemed sweet and tender besides the fact he refused to wear condoms. Nevertheless he never pressured me and I initiated a lot of the sex. Did I ever accuse him of sexual assault or rape? No, because he did not sexually assault or rape me. But one time I went on a Fox News rant about how people get riled up from propaganda, vote republican, which has real consequences in terms of roe v Wade being overturned. And I said that in states where abortion is illegal except in cases of rape, that means that a woman has to go before a court of law pregnant and try to prove that she was raped, and then I mentioned most of the time there's no evidence, most of the time it's just a date rape or a friend or even a boyfriend. And unless she has literal cameras 24/7, there's not going to be any evidence and now she has a baby and cannot prove it was a rape baby.

My ex of course said, but false allegations can ruin a guy's life! Not only was our discussion about the woman and her abortion rights, not the guy, I was not talking about a court of law in terms of prosecuting him, but I told him that's not even true, most of the time guys get off with little to zero consequences specifically because there's no evidence, but even in cases where there is literal eyewitnesses like Brock turner, they only get 6 months Max.

At the time, I thought well maybe he's just being a guy and of course guys only think of their interests first, and theoretically I don't believe in just throwing people in jail based on a single accusation. But I told him I think it is worse psychologically for a woman who is raped to get zero Justice rather than a guy getting off scott free for rape because she didn't have a GoPro strapped to her p*ssy, but having "accusations".

As soon as my ex said this s*** out loud I lost a lot of respect for him, but again I assumed it was just a guy thing. Even on more liberal subreddits, there will be pick mes defending saying "well I got raped and nobody believed to me including my psychiatrist, parents or friends, the police never arrested him, but I still believe in innocence until proven guilty". Really sis? Nobody believed you, the rape occurred, but you still support men's "right" to not be talked shit on or investigated for rape because you don't have video evidence or a written confession by the rapist?

I think most guys who have excessive fear about false allegations have skeletons in their closet. Unless you have rapey tendencies, or don't stop when she is on the fence or saying no, or like to take the condom off in the middle of sex, or like to have violent sex "BDSM", there's literally no reason for you to fear FaLsE ALLeGaTioNs.

I think the only exception would probably be celebrity stalkers who drum up any manner of b******* for press, but even then if a celebrity has met a fan/woman alone in a hotel room it's not like he's above rape, Kobe Bryant.

I like what Lilith said on a previous podcast. She said that we should just allow men to be fearful of false allegations ruining their lives. Even if it's not true, men barely get consequences even with some evidence, we should allow them to walk around in fear because then maybe their fear will self-police their rapey tendencies. I know the guy who sexually assaulted me, we were "friends" for a few months before it happened. I was wearing combat boots and he told me I looked like I could kill somebody in those boots. It was only after he learned that I was pretty much vulnerable and weak that he stopped being afraid of me.

I still think men live in a bubble, and because they think well I've never sexually assaulted anyone so surely most men never sexually assault anyone. Every single rapist that's ever existed has denied it, just because somebody is denying it doesn't mean it didn't happen. What's he going to say, yep that was me I raped and sexually assaulted her!

It's such a turn-off, and again probably not great date conversation but I may have been looking to pick a fight with this guy after I realized getting him to wear condom was going to be an uphill struggle. It was on me for not walking away. But guess what I never did, accuse him of sexual assault. Because it was all consensual. I even used to feel like I should send sexy pictures to my boyfriend and tell him how much I want to have sex with him, so he knows I'm "one of the good ones" 🤡 and would never "falsely accuse him".

I no longer wish to make men comfortable or give them blackmail material if they ever go rapey one day.

In the future if a guy tries to sexually assault or rape me, I'm literally going to kick or bite or snap his dick in half. Knowing that men get absolutely zero consequences and police will give a half-hearted investigation that will result in nothing if you have no evidence, best to just defend yourself violently in the moment. Even then these men have created fear what if I go to jail for that s***? Honestly men are not worth the f****** trouble, just get a vibrator. Anytime I see articles about guys having less sex than ever, I don't give a s***. Literally don't give a single s***. A lot of them have withdrawn from dating and society because they are so p*** sick, they watch so much violent p*** and then type all over Reddit and Twitter about how afraid they are of false allegations.