I was thinking today about what would lead to proper treatment and success. I think the only way to enter into a situation where someone will get to know who you are, and value you for your character is if they are actively seeking a life partner to build with. If someone is not sure what they want, or don’t think they are in the position to execute on marriage, then they are looking for sex and attention, or they will expect things to fall into place (which doesn’t happen anymore than a manicured garden happens on its own). They are looking for someone who makes them feel good which is a very temporary and fleeting thing. I don’t think it’s safe to date people who aren’t serious and intentional. Otherwise there is no goal, no reason to ‘work’ at something, it’s all about them and feeling good. the only reason I perceive someone will have to put in work, invest, and understand is if the person is aware that they do not want to be single, they want a partner to go through life with and have the maturity to understand that the other person‘a experience will be a big factor in longevity. I really don’t believe anyone who has no end goal is worthwhile. I also think they have to be practicing monogamy and are not into porn or social media of their own accord before you come into the picture. They really have to have depth and be someone who has thought about the big picture. Direction is so important. Ive had a big shift where I don't care how attractive, or how charming a man is, if I don’t see husband material I won’t entertain it. When looking for a life partner you just have a different perspective and values. You want to be reliable. There’s a lot of levelling up you can do, and you could even with be with a man who’s respectful and doing well in his life, but if he’s not aiming for a life partner then there is a ceiling you’re inevitably going to hit, because he doesn’t want things to go there.